Snoopy World

2008-05-03T12:28:00.002+08:00

School new term started and everyday busy with things. Stress with my Final Year Project(FYP) which will be lasting for 1 whole year with me. I just dun understand why school dun just give me an attachment work rather than this stupid project which i dun see any future to it. Sad to say because of this project I got to hold on to my course for another 1 year. So sian coming back to school and see those childish acts of my classmates. Just find the life in poly is a bit childish for me now. Miss the days in school but cannot accept the attitude of classmates in the school. The way they behave and react to problems are so childish. I don't even remember during my time I did such kind of reaction or behaviour. Maybe that is the type of kids for the next generation and not my generation of kids. hahaha... It is a difference of 6 years gap wif my schoolmates. So I bet I can say a bit generation gap. Throughout the whole course , I manage to know a few nice friends and just get through my life in poly. Gd and satisfied for it as I don't find the needs of getting a lot of current group of schoolmates as their mindset is totally different from me. Guess I gonna get down busy with my stuff. Will keep trying to update my blog as frequent as this is a promise for myself. My pictures I think will try to load into a photo album for my friends to view as there is a lot to view. Hope to get it done after my first panel review for my project.

2008-04-14T10:58:00.003+08:00

Hey guys, I'm just back from holiday for a week. It took me sometime before I can settle down to adapt to SG weather after my Japan trip for 2 weeks there. Love the weather there. Cooling and dry not like SG, so humid and warm. I do not have any problems when I alight the plane because the time when I reach SG is already 3am and the air is really cooling enough for my body to accept it. When the sun rises up, I start to feel very dizzy and bad headache. Bad time to cope with the change of weather..

2008-03-18T21:03:00.003+08:00

a brand new week...Coming sunday leaving Singapore for Japan...Can't wait to see the cherry blossom and Disneyland. The previous trip I only explore Universal so this time round will be another main theme park to explore.

Friday 14th March 2008

Last friday I recieve my exam result. Didn't expect myself to score such grades for all the modules. I got all kind of alphabets for my result slip but none of them fail which is lucky me. I even scored high grades for my last year modules. My friends have been encouraging me that so long I didn't fail any modules should be good enough and don't ask for too much. Actually my expectation for all modules should be at least scoring C instead of D. Never mind everything is over and all I need to do is to look forward for my Japan trip. So happy..

Saturday 15th March 2008

Saturday was a busy day for me. I am busy showing people the unit near Great World City with my friend as I'm still under learning. Had a simple dinner at Great World City and cont. my work . I missed out my ex-colleague cum friend's birthday. Such a waste that I cannot enjoy the joy with her but anyway I will try to compensate her when I settle down with my financial side. One day just end like this without much thing happening.

Sunday 16th March 2008

Sunday morning has reach and standard routine my family will enjoy a nice breakfast together and if can will go out and walk walk..We took pandan cake made by my mum with simple home-brewed coffee. It is very light breakfast so we headed to Raffles City to have dim sum for lunch at the Chinese Restuarant in Swissotel. The taste of the food there has dropped and the new menu wasn't suitable for our taste buds. We ordered almost most of the dim sum selection so wasn't that impressed by the new menu. After the lunch, we head to RafflesCity to shop and also exchange foreign currency for my coming trip to Japan. The exchange rate is S$1 to 70.9yen. Total I change for 212700yen which sounds like a lot but actually not. The rest of the day I'm doing gardening at home and repotting some of my plants before I go for my trip and the maid will come over and take care of my precious cats and plants.

Dim Sum at Chinese Restuarant In Swissotel

2008-03-14T17:08:00.002+08:00

It seems like going out at nite is not running away from me as a habit now...Online mahjong and going mac at west coast is my hobbies these few days...Wish to stop such habits as I going to turn into panda soon...Help me to quit this habit..Argh.. Oil prices rises and yet I driving around without feeling... What is going on inside me....

2008-03-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

These are my bits and pieces of pictures taken in Japan Trip

2008-03-12T23:05:00.002+08:00

Buildings are designed to look artistic but cannot be found in SG

2008-03-12T23:00:00.001+08:00

Food to be found in Japan

2008-03-12T20:57:00.005+08:00

Was at this Black Pig Restaurant on Sunday 09 March 08

Been addicted to The Central...Going there 2 days in a row just to satisfy my crave for Japanese food before I head to Japan. Sunday my family and I went to The Central to have our dinner. We suppose to go for Waraku which we always patron frequent but happen to pass by this shop that sells Black Pig cuisine also Japanese cuisine so we decided to give it a try a different taste. We ordered Kim Chi Hotpot, black pork with egg rice, pork on the hotplate and curry rice. The presentation of everything is really nice but the taste of every single dish is just consider average.

On Monday , I meet up with my navy base friend to gather for lunch at Vivocity because I need to go LG service centre to get my HP software to upgrade and also put on the screen protector for free. After I sent my HP to service, we head to Sakae Sushi in Vivocity. Very nice setup for the whole restaurant and the dishes they served are slightly on the higher end . I can say the dishes there creative points can score 4/5 stars but the taste is only abt 2.5-3/5 stars. Sorry for me being picky on food but juz that I feel I should eat something better with the price I'm paying for.. Just after the lunch, we head back to LG service centre to collect my hp and out of sudden something struck my mind. I juz remember my friend mention about the choc biscuits that I bought from Japan can be found at this shop at basement of The Central so I brought him there to satisfy his crave for the snacks so I don't have to specially carry back just for him and I can buy more things from Japan...He he he.... After buying snacks at The Central, we decided to head to Funan Mall to rest and he can study for his Japanese language course test. While he is studying at Mac in Funan, I went up to Fujitsu service centre to get my keyboard replaced and went to Challenger to buy solution to clean my keyboard also. Think today is my IT servicing day .....After staying a while at Funan, we left at ard 6pm and I head to JE library to meet May there. My purpose to go JE library is to borrow books related to planting of orchids and cultivate plants. I borrowed 4 books in total to read at home and waited for May a while to reach JE. We stayed in the library for 15 Min's and left for home...Seldom take bus during peak hour so feel very bored seeing the crowd of people at the interchange. Through the journey, I been teasing May and made May feel a bit agitated ... At last reach my station and I squeeze through the crowd just to get off the bus... I swear will never take a bus home during peak hour down the road.. A day where I manage to do so many things at one time..

2008-03-12T19:10:00.003+08:00

Think I gonna start to do blogging every 3 days...

11 March 08

What a day...Whole afternoon was out in town area helping out my friend in rental of condo at Melrose Park.. Shown a few agents within 2 hrs time...Response to the viewing of the unit is consider average but at the moment the demand on property is still not as strong as before due to the price ...Imagine currently this unit that I'm handling is going for rental at $6.5K per month next to Great World City. After whole afternoon of showing, I head down to beach road to get traditional Teochew sweet treats...It is located at Beach Road Block 2 opp. Golden Mile Complex. Very interesting shop indeed.. Really very old and traditional feel.. Wasn't easy to get as there is drizzling when I get there around 5pm ..Bought some for my grandma and some meant for my home.. By the time I reach home is already 7pm and had my dinner. When I'm watching TV show halfway, May smsed me asking "whether I wanna go for supper tonight or not?". Same old me lazy to reply to her sms so I decided to cont. my TV show and halfway my uncle,auntie and godson came over to chit chat and they brought us 4 durians which taste really good. My godson is so scared of the durian smell till he runs away and hide in the room when he saw us opening the durian to eat. Everything ends around 10 plus and I decided to head into my room to play comp. I saw Sharon online and she asked me abt the supper thing. So I told her that I'm okay with anything so they decided to go for the supper at 1am. Was a bit tired but it is okay for the sake of my friends. We went to Mustafa again as Sharon suggested to see the price of PSP . Ended up the persons buying things are not the one suggested going.. I got a brand new earplug,hair gel,Tiger Balm oil for my Japan trip and sweets. After shopping, we head to the Dim Sum shop to eat for our supper and I didn't really wan to eat much as had too heavy during my dinner time. I took soya bean milk and mango pudding while I watch May and Sharon having a feast on the dim sum selections. Before we headed home, I went to petrol kiosk to top up my fuel tank and realise the increase on oil prices really costing my expenses to go up . Juz top up 3/4 tank of my car, it cost me $60 plus while last time $60plus can top up full tank. Wat a day ending so late when we reach home at near 5am.

2008-03-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

My trip to Cameron Highland....

2008-03-05T19:00:00.003+08:00

Went to Thailand , Bangkok, sometime back.....
Now time to upload all my photos taken long time back.....

2008-03-04T12:26:00.003+08:00

Everyday been so busy...time passes so fast. Without my notice, now already in the midst of my semester end holiday. Can't imagaine within these few months, I had accomplished so much things for the family. Chinese New Year over liao. Guess everyone mood tends to settle down more already... For me, first time I experiencing my exam period right after Chinese New Year..So stressed up planning my schedule to study for my studies in order to excel and plan for my school holiday travelling plan.

2008-01-06T17:47:00.001+08:00

Busy busy busy........During my school term break after the common test, been busy dealing wif my house renovation... Completion of each tasks every few days...The weekend that is right after my common test week, my family and i started to pack all our belongings into boxes and luggages .I can't imagine that the whole house things can all cramped into one kitchen of mine after compacting everything into boxes and luggages. Had a real tired weekend carrying the heavy furniture i have in my house and heavy boxes that everyone packed into.At last on sunday evening the whole house are empty and the kitchen are so packed that no one can even enter into it.

First week of renovation kicks off ...It started off wif plastering of walls and ceilings. It took us 4 days to have it completed. During the few days of renovation, I passed my class 3 licence and started to drive . We even went into JB to unwind ourselves by shopping during the holiday. Right after the plastering project completes, we went to serangoon area to buy paints to paint the whole house with brand new color.

2007-12-19T16:48:00.000+08:00

What a brand new week to go...Hooray...My 2 weeks break term has come and quite a few events going on before the year end. Been rushing renovation for my home, finish my common test period, passed my driving and not forgetting on bringing my dogs out to play. I'm so happy at last i got my driving licence after 2 times of human error inside the circuit. Somehow I'm wondering how are my friends that I know of doing now? So long haven't in touch with cold storage ex-colleagues, sec sch friends and etc... Recently I heard that my best friend,William, who got married few years back now got his second child so fast. I was shocked when I recieved the news of him having the second new born baby as to what I remember the first child's news was like yesterday only.. Anyway I feel happy for him and I'm still trying to find the best gift for his first baby boy and maybe his first baby girl also. I still remember I got his first child a set of levis clothes and now maybe have to find something unique design for his second child.. Nowadays I pampered kids like anything as I feel they deserve a happy childhood times as can help them to grow up with happy memories . I will try to upload more photos to make my blog more colorful . I just simply enjoy taking photo with my K850i everywhere I goes.I gonna stop now and hope to update my blog down the road when I'm free.. See ya guys that r reading my blog.

2007-12-03T17:58:00.000+08:00

Everyday is a brand new day....Now all I wish is to look forward to the next of everyday...Hoping everyone around me is healthy, happy and of coz not forgetting having a great day ahead... Out of sudden everything juz come to me suddenly....I dunno any of my friends ever experience that they are going to lose someone important slowly day by day... But currently I feel so lost and sad when I got to know someone important to me is going to leave me someday....My mood really turns black and my eyes goes red everyday...I only wish that my friend can live up to his best of everyday. I will try to post more pics up to my blog to bring more life to it.. Think I'm going to fulfil most of my dreams on the coming years... Going to do a thorough renovation in my current house which has been accompanying me through since the day I'm born till now...A fresh look a fresh start of life also...Hope this will brighten up my mum's mood everyday after the renovation and motivate everyone that stay in the house to be happy and lively...Common test week is coming down the road. Stress is coming the way due to my expectation to the results of everything I do nowadays...Seems like programming suits me the best...I find no stress when studying programming but the thing I don't see the future to it...I will work hard to it and strive for more....I won't disappoint my dad that is resting in peace , my family members and my friends around me supporting behind my back...

2007-10-15T14:25:00.001+08:00

Today is my first day of my 3.1 semester in ngee ann poly....I feel so relax in the lecture and tutorial rooms...Aircon is strong and cold to fight away from the hot weather outside...Think my new hair color give a lot of ppl attention and hopefully i dun get into any trouble...I actually bleach my hair....hahaha....Think nobody will expect me to go into such hairstyle...I shall stop here at the moment as i'm having my lab now while typing my blog...So bored to death so i came into blog to keep myself awake by updating it.

2007-10-13T15:06:00.000+08:00

Everyday now is raining....Hmmmm...School is going to start a brand new semester for me.. I be doing 2 semesters' modules squeeze into 1 semester..When I recieve my new timetable , I'm shocked to see my schedules to be fully packed with things and no other time to "eat snake". My feeling to start this coming semester is the same as how I feel when I first joing back poly ...Wondering who am I going to see this time round and how many of them actually taking same modules as me ...Sad... All I can hope is at least 1 or 2 person got more than 1 module same grouping as me or else every module I'm seeing different people is real hard to find good friends. This whole week really a fruitful week for me...Travel up to malaysia's different states...Visit Malacca,Ipoh & Port Dickson.....Too bad I didn't bring my camera along but see a lot of beautiful sightings ... Afterall malaysia environment dun really give me a gd feel as most of places i can feel eerie...

2007-09-28T01:13:00.001+08:00

2007-09-27T13:25:00.000+08:00

2007-09-26T10:51:00.000+08:00

I have trying hard to post my pictures I took for the past 2 years of my travelling but yet to find a place to do the style I like. These 2 weeks have been busy looking after a person so got no time to have for my own things..I am planning for a short trip to getaway before my semester start again.. Wondering where should I go with the limited capital I have....Forget to mention on Sunday,I went back to my old working home which is Cold Storage KAP and saw my aunties there happily working... Waited for one of my ex-colleague cum nice friend(Auntie Ah Sim) to knock off from work and we headed to Bukit Timah Finest NTUC.... I can say nothing impressive about this store but juz that the product range increased compared to the previous time and that is what NTUC called it Finest...So disappointing to me as I expected more from it as I seen a few countries of supermarket merchandising and find that Singapore supermarkets do not carry the range of products..You are unable to get all the things juz in one store. Will post in more daily of my blog

葉蒨文 - 曾經心痛

2007-09-15T02:34:00.001+08:00

(KTV) 羅志祥 - 力量

2007-09-15T02:28:00.001+08:00

2007-09-15T01:30:00.000+08:00

Dunno why out of sudden my mind is full of my dad...I missed him so much...Where is he now at and doing what....My eyes filled with tears through the nite...I really can't get to sleep...
Watching youtube mickey mouse's cartoons but ended the more tears coming down instead of more laughter....

What is happening to me..I'm really tired ...Today i should be happy as i got the best results i ever got in my poly days... but ended up i'm feeling so down and sad..Tears rolling down my cheeks non stop......Watch cartoons to make me laugh but ended worsen it...

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE IS MY DAD.....

2007-08-13T21:03:00.000+08:00

Very the fast.....Now going to have my exam in another week time and after that I be heading to my next oversea trip...I'm heading to Hong Kong to shop and dine there...Will be happy like crazy as I can buy a lot of clothes again and get to eat all the good food in Hong Kong...Just wonder what is there to shop now after a year didn't go to Hong Kong already...This time round heading to Hong Kong main purpose is to enjoy the Theme Park and must go to the Harbour to watch the lighting show as I never been there to watch before...Disneyland is a disappointment to me so I will not go again on this coming trip but will rather concentrate on shopping and eating....Hopefully I won't gain much weight after the trip as I already slim down 3 kg for the past 2 weeks already....Hope to take a lot of pictures and able to upload into the website soon...
I'm still trying to find ways to design a site to display all my pictures taken during my trip to Japan,Thailand,Macau and Cameron Highland. These are my achievements for the past 2 years travelling and considering to travel either Sydney or London on my next trip....Hope I can do that next year....hehehe.....For now , I gonna study hard for my exams and do my part to achieve good marks for every module. Hope to catch up with my friends and ex-colleagues from CS. Miss you guys from CS k....Hope I can join in more gathering with you all....
That's all for today...Will try to update on my blog as frequent as possible.

2007-07-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

Grew older by a year.....a weeks ago i celebrated my 24th Bday wif my close friends and family...

I think this year is a year which I did quite little things on my Bday... I prepared a few home-cooked food to give my family and friends a treat. I have cooked paper-wrapped chicken, hainanese pork chop, lotus root soup and steamed crayfish. Although the effort of cooking is tough but it worth my every single thoughts of it. Recieved quite a no. of greetings from my sec friends, clubbing friends and also working friends.. But still a lot of them forgotten my special day.....Missed the days where presents are all over my table waiting for me to open them up....hehehe....Behaving like a small kid...Studying has been going good at my side.Never know that after ns, my study in school has been improved and achieved quite a satisfactory grades..Even my lecturer for each module was impressed with my improvement as they thought I will score at the borderline of the paper....They even asked me to attend a few revision lessons before the common test commence...Hmmm......Now is preparing myself for the exam already...Exam period is during august and aiming to score some satisfactory grades to it. I'm glad that I will be facing only 2 theory papers for coming exam as the other module exam will be held before the study week..I really missed my working colleagues from Cold Storage....wondering how has everyone been doing....Recently had a great gathering with my Sec Sch friends ...We had early dinner in VivoCity at Marche and followed by going to a Karaoke pub in clarke quay...Really enjoyed ourselves a lot and ended the day with a great memories....Guess I going to post my blog again the next time i feel like doing so....Really wish someday to have gathering with CS friends ......

2007-07-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfTQ9mEZawA

2007-04-30T12:14:00.000+08:00

Very fast everything just ended like this.....I really very lagging behind in updating my blog....now already going to May and this is my very first blog of the year....Brand new blog and brand new me...I finished my 2 years service in Navy and at last release out to breath the outside air.I can feel the freedom I have as I don't have to report my movement to camp like going overseas need to get subject to approval etc...My new guys that take over my vocation in base are going to suffer as they don't much of what we done as they has been posted into my department quite late.Missed the days inside the base such as night activation and talking to all the high ranking personnels. I felt so highly respected inside the base as the job we are doing are definitely highly confidential and security level is high also. People in the base even those crabs on the shoulder don't know what is going on in the base lor... We can even tell them the type of operation and type of ammunition needed....That is all in the past already....The moment I stepped out of there, my brand new life starts all over again with a fresh memory. Hmmm.....7th March is the day of my ORD. On sunday i attended Germaine's 21st Bday and also went to a dinner gathering with my friends.. I don't know what is happening to me but in the morning i rushed all the way to Tangs to get germaine's present and rushed all the way to her place realising i'm the only person there when the rest still on the way...thought was a surprised to all of them and yet they are a surprised to me being late....haiz.... missed the days where got the Serene(ah ma),Germaine,Shini(Mashed Potato/Ayumi),Sharon and lots more... The fun and laughter all gone with the wind... I ever thought of going back to CS and work but no motivation to go back anymore as all the girls gone ...Not Fun anymore need to reconsider a lot of factors ...

2006-12-28T18:30:00.000+08:00

It is getting nearer to my ORD. Time really flies, things passing by juz like a gust of wind. Always treasure the loved ones beside you. You never know what will happen down the road as the person might leave you or gone for good. 2007 is coming and 2006 is ending soon. Wondering how are my friends going on. Haven't hear from them for so long. Had a great holidays through christmas . This year really a fruitful year for me. Went travelling most of the time. First half of the year went to Thailand and later part on September went to Hong Kong. On November went to Thailand again. Bought so much things from these countries. I going to plan my next trip after my ORD before my studies start.

2006-10-21T15:01:00.000+08:00

Nov is reaching and Oct is ending soon...Sad to see i'm putting on weight...i dun like the fats on my body..Need to go to gym now to tone up my body and slim down myself... Just got back from ym long holiday trip from overseas. Went to Macau and Hong Kong on 3 Oct till 6 Oct. Enjoyed myself there... Seen the newly built casinos, hotels and also the display for mid-autumn festival. Anyway I really bought a lot of things back so slowly i will put up my post of the things i brought back from my Hong Kong trip. I'm still sorting out the pics i took there and things i bought from there.

Wondering when will be my next trip.....Still thinking as i still have 4 more days of leave to take for my current year. Need to be cleared before end of the year. Very fats next year I'm taking my Class 3 licence test for on the road. Once I passed my test i can drive around with no worries. Not only that, I also can drive to my base everyday before I ORD. Very fast my service for government is going to end soon. My ORD is on the 13th March. I be back to my studying days on April. Just can't wait for the time to come.. See you guys soon

2006-08-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

Now is August and things already finished for the month of July. Dad's First Annivesary and My 23rd birthday plus also the memories wif my ex all is over. I can't help myself back thinking the days of the past as it is all the sweet memories and days without stressed.I'm glad that i'm now being stable with whatever i have.I really pinning high hopes on things i'm having currently to last forever. Got my lovely dogs accompanying me and the days time enjoying with my loved one. Wish the days never end to me....

2006-07-01T11:03:00.000+08:00

This is the start of the month of July. It is exactly a year from my last POP day from BMT and also going to be a year for my father's death anniversary. Things have changed and people around me all change. Why must it be happening like this? I think my father's death is a blow to me although in the past i didn't cherish him that much as i'm quite focus on work more than him. But he is always in my heart. I think i focus too much on my work and neglect the people around me.Time for me to reflect upon myself over things and look forward to every single ppl I loved before . Hope this is the best memories i will ever have for the month which worth for me to commerate.

2006-06-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

heyhey.....it is a brand new blog again from me. it has been 3 months again from the last time i enter blog. i dun have the habit of blogging that's why. somehow everytime i come into the blog it reminds me of my past and history. the happiness and unhappiness i been through. inside my blog it contains full of my exciting part of my life. i can say the start of my blog is the start of something new in my life never been before... i'm sure there is someone will appreciate me which the day has come....I been wondering for months and years how has my friends been doing... haven't seen them for a period of time due to my time constraint and also my vocation tends to have a last min secretive operations going ... now i able to blog again because i'm down with fever. past 2 weeks has been busy wif my camp works which worked through the night... we have 2 ships to do ammo loading and maintenence check for them to sail off during the period from wednesday to friday of last week. they came back during thrusday evening so we stay through the night to clear their ammo from their ships. we find a bit stupid lor.. the ship's personnels get so excited coming back to celebrate after firing only 4 missiles and all we find is so stupid as not going for a war and won after a battle. don't get it wat they are thinking lor.. Coming execise will be a missiles and torpedo loading which anytime within these 2 weeks will be activate... kind of busy month man..... Wish SAF can plan in more personnels into my department as only 6 of us handling the whole event. very tiring leh....not physical tired but is mentally.... anyway work is work i won't wan to talk anymore abt it.....last friday my dog gave birth to 3 puppies... they look lovely and cute....i felt so excited seeing them being birth......glad the mother and the puppies are safe and sound....now finding owners to take over the puppies...so far have 2 taken already...so still got one more to find....i got a very strict criteria on being the owner of my puppies... they must be caring and got time for them... they must not take the dogs for granted that's all...wish my puppies really have a great time with their new owners... hope they won't be ill-treat by them.....i'm scared that's all...anyway that's all for today..i might do bloggin for tomorrow again as i'm still on MC
hahahaha

2006-03-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Oh my God.....It is already going to 3 months complete of without updating my journal already....Life is everyday filled with all sorts of excitement plus disappointment and everyday get to see all the new people appearing in our life no matter as friends,strangers or passer-by.....I have learnt a lot of things from them like the behaviour of human beings and character understanding...Wonder how on earth the god able to create so many kind of humans with all sorts of characters? Where he got the idea from and how many character on earth is there?....All these answers only can be answered by the god and nobody else......Life now in navy is so good ... Now concurrently I'm attending another course again....It is the mobile crane operation course....I be qualified to operate a crane in another next few days down the road after a test. Very fast time passed, another 11 months more to go reaching my ORD. how i wish i able to go back to study...so bored man....

2005-12-10T11:22:00.000+08:00

Very fast......the year is going to end very soon.....just a glance of eyes the days passed just right in front of our eyes without knowing it...So many things happen in my life...there is ups and downs ......Sometimes when i start to type my journal i really dunno what to type in....really lost of words ever since the day my dad passed away.....haiz.......

2005-07-08T01:41:00.000+08:00

Things have changed.....Times have changed....it has been almost a month after my POP.....I didn't realise it until today is my birthday....I'm so happy that i'm turning this year 22 and is like everything just goes by like a breeze in my life.....Last year i spent my very precious memorable 21st birthday with someone which is with me for quite sometime and yet hurt me the deepest in my heart......juz that still remember by this time i should be sleeping with the excited moment to happen on coming morning for last year....I will get to spend the best out of the world time with someone..... Recieving an unexpected present from that person and also enjoying a nice set meal of swensen.....i still remember he had Fish & Chips while i had Baked Rice.... the best moment is when come to the last item of the meal is a dessert...we shared one crepe with choc ice cream which is both of us fav. it is sweetest moment i ever had in my life doing in the public....he fed me the dessert and saying happy 21st birthday.......anyway it is the history already although these moments still in my mind vividly....

Quite a full stretch of tasks to do this 2 weeks in navy.....have to set prepare ships for sailing and load them with live ammunition....Due to the IOC 2005. we have been busy loading things for past 3 days...and now they have left singapore we have to unload everything from the ships....it is tedious but fun ...i'm now so tanned....look like a total malay now...hahaha.....i took leave specially for my birthday.....and just the day before i recieve a birthday card from my department wishing me happy birthday which is so touched for me as i juz join their department only and yet they bother to get me a card......a simple thing can juz means a lot.....it shows how importance r u to that person.....watever i still dun get a chance to have a nice dinner wif my sec. sch friendsor ex-working colleagues....wonder anyone of them still remember it is my birthday or not?.....I juz feel i'm so fortunate that having so many friends all around me.....i have almost like 50 ex-working colleagues that still in touch once a blue moon,45 ex-sec.sch mates but some contacr no. cannot be retrieve and also the people i knows from irc.....it is like costing my whole phone billa bomb when need to get them.....

Signed Off:
Allan Tan

2005-06-12T18:26:00.000+08:00

At last I POP already..........now i'm on leave waiting for my dearest posting....hoping to get a service side posting as really sick of living in the forest with no bathing for days.......everyday powder bath really sickening one...Whatever it has been over.....nothing else to worry abt.....Now have to concentrate how to spend my leave carefully and also enjoy to the end.....I'm just hoping to arrange a dinner wif all my ex-colleagues in CS....wondering when i have the chance to do so........I miss everyone that has appears in my life.......My house r filled wif army things now but no choice to wash everything up and throw back to my duffel bag....hahaha....being left at a corner collecting dust now......

it is almost a week after my POP....these days i really dunno wat am i busy wif.....i book out on tuesday 8pm and i just had dinner and got home around 11pm....i started to do cleaning up for my clothes everything......i ended my washing around 2am and my room is filled wif army equipment lying on the floor....hardly can walk through the mess man......i'm so tired that i switch on my air-con and straight away hit my bed to my dreamland.......it is so deadly to wake up so early doing nothing....due to army life, i woke up 5.30am which is my daily routine.....i look around my neighbourhood that no one is around expect for some which has to rush to work in factory and students wif school bags walking towards the school....i was like why i have to wake up so early when it is my leave to enjoy my days..... i just take a time to wake up early and can finish things earlier.....after my morning bath and personal hygiene, i'm standing in front of my washing machine hanging my washed clothes onto bamboo poles and leave it under the sun.....the whole process to finish the whole washing machine of clothes took me 1 hour plus and after that i washed my sports shoes and black shine my boots...i can see reflections on my boots again ... I can feel the satisfaction i got when the shoes can shine......that is my morning ended juz like this and whole day busy doing my miscellanoes things like tidying up my room....dusting away the dust collect as it has been like 3 weeks i haven't been staying in the room already.....that is my wednesday juz goes off like this.....thursday and friday is the days which i dread of as i need to go back to tekong for live firing event......so bored....spent the whole day and night at tekong 100m live range on friday....I rush to the ferry terminal around 10pm to catch the 10pm ferry which is called FastCraft in tekong.....So nice someone picking me up at the ferry terminal point....felt so touch when i see the car is just there waiting for me.....the moment i hop onto the car he drove me back to my house and had a long bath before heading out to clubbing again....hahaha....back to my standard routine life again......he accompanied me through the nite till 2am as he dun club so he left before me.....i told him to go back as i see him so sleepy mode and can't bear to torture him to be wif me through the nite.....i think anyone reading this journal of mine sure knows wat i'm talking abt....I'm seeing someone now......he treats me so nice and really have the kind of chemistry between us....me need to go off an

2005-05-05T09:16:00.000+08:00

Today i able to do blogging as i'm having MC for 2 days...........so bored at home recuperating my sickness.........i'm suffering from heat exhuastion......it has been days ever since after my field camp.....i still remember the day i fainted during my field camp on the sixth day.......everyone is trying to recover my conciousness when we reach at the camp site.....i pushed myself hard enough to end the marching of 8km under the god damn hot sun without falling out of the event but the moment we reach the site, all i know is the whole mind is black in color.....the next moment when i woke up i was laying down on the tree with a huge bag of ice on top of my head.....during the time of being unconcious, all i know my mind r filled with the people that plays an important role in my life like my parents,sisters,best friends and most of all is my ex-bf....he is the main character that keep appearing in my mind during that period of time..... the scenes of when i'm enjoying my dearest time with him, sharing my sadness and most of all anything news that happen to me he will be the first one to know....always remember his reactions to it.......I'm kind of sick of such life when all the time small little things that we used to be together that appears will trigger back the memories of him and make me feel very down also....all i know after the close shave of almost losing my life in camp has made me feel the importance of people around....i really feel so scared to be alone now....how i wish there is someone that can sincerely to look after and take care of me .........i think it is time for me to take my medication and go for my rest .....i will give my best shot in blogginh every week....hope to hear from u guys ASAP....really miss the days with u gals gossiping, chit chatting going out and especially our malaysia trip........hope there is the day comes by.....see ya.....

2005-04-10T18:35:00.000+08:00

At last i'm inside army now....how r u guys? ......now i'm dark and tone already......hahaha
not forgetting the botak look of me.....it has been months ever since i update my blog already.......so sad that nobody miss me........sad.......I been inside the camp for a month already.....everyday is juz training and training.....another 2 more months to my passing out parade.....let me work through the times......i hope my friends r always there to support me although i got a weak health.......i will try my very best to excel inside the camp till my last breath........i got to have this bit of time to do blogging

2005-02-21T14:43:00.000+08:00

Okie i shall start off my life from christmas.......I think almost every single days i been spending in meeting up clients and new friends .....plus also going to california gym at orchard...i always remember going to gym after that walk around town viewing the decorations.....i had my house decorated wif stars and ornaments all around.....love it so much......juz like doing my decorations for CS.....i had my home filled wif christmas joy and fun...really something different this year...
on christmas eve i attended a costume party at M hotel held by my friends' group so i rented a costume as a phantom....when i was taking the train down to the place a lot of ppl was staring at me as i was in the costume which is quite special.....luckily i didn't wear on the mask.....hahaha.....then i heard from my fren that on christmas eve is the launch of the movie " Phantom of The Opera" also ....they were teasing me am i the one gonna do the launching for their movie in which cinema....hahaha......after that i went to one of the club in tanjong pagar and saw all my friends there also....that nite was a nite that i drink a lot and club a few places due to invitations....Phantom was flying all the places wif my cab....hahaha.....really enjoy myself so much on my christmas this year.....recieve a very big present also.....i got a hp nokia 6260 by a friend of mine....i was so shock when i got home and open up the present......that is my most expensive present i ever recieve in my life.......so touched also........

2005-02-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

How is everyone......it has been months ever since i last did my posting fo my journal.....i think there is too much things happening around till i got no time for writing my journal.....now my ob is basically doing sales and consultation with my studying of health knowledge......i been on studying back again for 2 months on the knowledge with health supplements and the vitamins and minerals need for the body etc......i think i gain a lot of knowledge doing sales with Nuskin.....although this is a multi level marketing business which not much people look good on the working model but i still find there is a lot of things we should learn from them before we able to start off to have the own business.....i attended a course team building but i find i already knew the things that was taught in the class.....i got to learn things like sub concious mind importance .......I out of sudden i miss every single one in CS.......i been seeing a lot people which i never seen before in my life.....so interesting life for this past few months....been clubbing for every single week wif my friends.....i'm so lucky that i dun have to spend any single cents on clubbing as the people i got to know r those regulars to those clubs.....enjoyed my life man.....hahaha........i shall start off wif my life of journal now before i get enlisted to fill my friends that reading my journal of wat i'm doing now......

2004-12-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

Life is filled with ups and downs. It has been weeks ever since my very last post about my guy who i know him almost 2-3 months time. The last time I get to meet him was on a bright sunny Tuesday where my parents are not around he came over my place and took a long rest before we headed for my stuffs that I need to do and the work he has to complete. This was happen like almost going to 2 months time….I still remember he came right after the day he landed from his business trip from Thailand… during his business trip, it was like everyday I chatting with him non-stop when I get back from work….he would be online for me to chat with….it is real nice feeling chatting with him…that kind of feeling is call chemistry…not everyone that chat with me endlessly will means chemistry….it is the feeling that cannot be describe out in terms of words….I believe all the lovers out there should know what I mean….I’m can say I’m not getting deeper in guy’s relationship but just that I like someone to share my burden with.. the burden I’m carrying not everyone close to me will understand it. Even my sec. schmates doesn’t know what I’m thinking sometimes… I’m sure everyone that I knows think I’m rich but it is all the wealth that I earn it myself and dependent on my parents.. who knows what I have been through. I don’t deny sometimes I depend on my parents but just that only happen when I’m real tired of work and tight in my pocket then they r there to save me. Not I don’t want to have a boy girl relationship but just that my very first girl that I loved deeply had hurt me deeply and from then never have confidence in girls only when someone can tell me she can be trusted for my rest of my life with no worries…seeing here and there for sometime after my breakoff with Roger, I seen so much different kind of guys and girls already…. It really makes me deeply in thought over what they are to me… maybe for the time being I just want to have a lot of friends surrounded me and have fun together. Get me forget who am I is the best way I think but not into any relationship… I think my heart is always have this reservation for the first girl and first guy I ever loved deeply. I never forget those days I been with them and sadness I been through just because of them. I think this piece of journal I’m writing is purely right deep from my heart and writing it with all my thoughts…. Hope all my sad,happiness,joys,painful,etc type of experiences r lock within the journal I been posting . Just like all the posts I had put in between Roger and I is allowing me to taste the sweetness we used to have together… Some people told me that looking for a relationship with chemistry is stupid but I think is not… only relationship with chemistry then will last with the taste of sweetness just like adding caramel syrup to a bitter coffee to blend off the bitterness of the coffee…how about another simpler way of saying when hydrogen meets oxygen they need the catalyst in between to create them together and turn into water… if not even when they meets up they won’t turn into water when there is no catalyst . I think I better sign off for my piece of words now before I start to create out a few pages of it…

2004-11-24T11:10:00.000+08:00

Coming back to blogger to write my journal, my eyes slowly turns red and off it goes my first teardrop again.......coming back to this place to write all my stuffs r the memories of my Roger and me......i always write down my things happening to me and he will view it and review wif me....shared wif him for almost half a year or more....the moment first drop starts now it keep dripping wif no control.........one by one is dripping now....juz the memories makes my teardrops to roll down....although i told myself should not be sad over it but my emotion side i can't control.....

2004-11-24T10:23:00.000+08:00

Hey guys i'm back to write my journals.......it has been months since my last post of it......so much things had happen to me.....I also don't know what to say and where to start off.....actually i fell in love wif a guy which is attached wif another boi but i think the first impression he had given to me is expressed out wrongly and made me deeply in love wif him now.....he is the guy which i told myself can replace my dear Roger......it has been so many months that break off with him but i simply can't forget the days wif him......i tried to keep myself busy wif all sorts of stupid things but yet i unable to replace the importance of him in me.......i need the new guy to help me out but then i dun get to see him so often so is like i dun think i able to get out from that shadow so fast.......

This guy i'm referring is another guy which is much older than me...10 years older than me but i like being wif him....he made me forget all my unhappiness.......i still remember on my 2nd meeting wif him......i was still working as a health consultant in that US-based company and knock off quite late and it is on friday so i headed to california gym after my work.....on my way to gym, he message me to have dinner wif him so i said okay wif me after my gym.....so he waited in his car at the nearby carpark while i ended my gym around 10 plus.....after that we went to had nasi lemak at chinatown and after headed nowhere and lastly he decided to bring me to prawn fishing which i had never did it before so long time already.......so sweet of him as both of us share one rod to fish prawns.....caught quite a lot of prawns......then he knows i still feel sad over my ex so he brought me to a aj club named Happy which i never been there before and he knows i'm keen in going to see it.....nice being wif him.....got the exactly same feeling as the time i been wif Roger....from that day onwards i told myself he is the guy i wan to go for chemistry and feelings type.....not juz for the fun only......after clubbing some things did happen in between us but then it is on my willing side as i will only give in to the guy that i have feeling wif and not any other people....that was happen wif my sober state on what i'm doing.....the memories is as clear as it juz happen only yesterday.......so nice.....i think i said this before in my previous journal entry but it simply can't get off from my head......juz like the memories i been wif Roger.......

2004-10-12T18:12:00.000+08:00

Work load is getting heavier and heavier as there is so much tasks to complete in such a short time by the demand from the US side......being a temp staff is so unfair....work so much and still have to attend executive meeting.......felt so great being look up but then underpaid for wat i'm doing......
why everytime i work for any company i be so committed to the work? felt so attached to it easily.....not a very good side for me.....

sorrie guys for my late submit of my journals....this piece was actually written a month plus on 10/10........

2004-10-12T17:52:00.000+08:00

at last i get to write my journal now....i'm jobless again.....didn't realise it has been one months plus i haven been submitting any entries ever since.....i think some of my friends also stop viewing it as i stop for so long.....so much things had happened ever since the break off wif that married guy.....dunno it is good or bad for me....been mixing wif too much guys already......dunno doing this is juz trying to forget abt the married guy or wat.....all i know all the guys i know is juz wanna have fun wif me only but not seriously care for my feelings or wat.....till this day come....didn't know he happen to be so nice towards me and that day wif him made me totally forgotten the hurt was caused by that married guy.....

i still remember that is the day is the happiest and enjoyable day i ever had since the breakoff wif that married guy. i totally forgotten the pain inside me.....he took me to prawn fishing which i never been there alone wif another person and so late at nite.....we caught so many prawns and halfway on the road got roadblock...so memorable that nite........then after that he brought me to clubbing to cheer me up.......i really enjoy so much.....he gave me so much pleasure....dun feel the stress or pains inside me....that nite eventually got home only at next day sat morning already.....headed down to work in a short while as i have to attend an important meeting on new products launch and events going on ......when was in the meeting room, i was simply so tired and keep struggling hard to keep my eyes open but my brain is shut......i got no regrets although i suffer the morning........i felt lighten up after being wif him......it happen like few weeks before........eventually i still went clubbing and meeting up new ppl but realise the people simply like to make me drunk and have fun wif me......i was so touched when he come into and saved me from being taken advantage of.....the whole through fri and sat have happen so much things.....really tell me he is a very very good friend of mine.......i can say he is important to me......now i rarely find someone that is so caring to me already other than that married guy......

this is the journal meant for 3 weeks before.....still got more to write

2004-08-26T11:45:00.000+08:00

It has been almost 3 weeks plus from the last time he mention to stop seeing each other or keeping in touch...I felt i'm so useless when come to this kind of thing...i simply can't put it down easily.....i find that the wound inside me instead of healing up it has worsen it and start to grow deeper into it......i think this time round i'm really serious to it be coz i thought i have found the right person that i can trust and share with......actually why i treasure him so much becoz all the while i been craving for a elder brother so i can share everything with him and he can share everything with me like toking with no world boundaries.........haiz.........knew him for 4 years+ and chat with him ......all the while i treated him as my big brother and never expect when i met him in person this year is like i already told myself i have found my right person which i can put my trust on.........and now things is happening so fast.....how i wish he haven't undergoes any operation then i dun think it will happen anything yet....the memories with him i simply unable to erase it away.........i tried so hard not to think but simply i can't.........argh.......so painful moments........all i can say i'm so tired to act tough on the outside of me as nothing happen but in my mind it is still the same..........one whole week plus i didn't blog already.........i think somehow things is going fine with me just that sometimes when the memories flow back to my mind, my eyes sure goes red and might burst into tears sometimes for no reason....i somehow trying so hard to look on the bright side already.....but when the memories comes into it, i really can't help it.....i think my working colleagues sometimes got scared by my sudden change of my mood within a few mins.......oops..........am i very scary person?.......i think everyday my life has filled with all sorts of ppl now......is he forcing me into opening myself up to everyone out there?...i think the blow he has given me has change a slight differences of myself.....

Whatever come str8 to the point , whole week i been meeting up with all sorts of ppl due to my work requirements....all the clients brought in by the distributors is talking the best of me.....i felt so great being complimented and even the people working in the office department quite surprise with my performance that i can build such a strong rapport with the distributors so fast within a short period of few weeks.....great.....somehow i feel so great when i dun look afterall with my age becoz some of them i can't even imagine they r younger than me but look real older than me....maybe they not grooming themselves up.......hmmmm.........
nuskin has taught me lots of things related to health issues and skin issues.......oops.....am i too into beauty stuff already? hahaha.........so much ppl i knew recently is so caring to me especially the distributors i knew....they know i always skip my dinner so they get sandwiches for me when they r here with their clients.....oh great feeling being care by others......some even said i looks like a professional consultant based on the way i speak to the clients.......oh my god that is not my line.......okie.....gonna go now to prepare off to my work as so much things to do.....have to pack my bags with my newly type reports and put in my fav. cologne and my fav. bk and my fav. cds. into my bag...great although a short little hours of 6 hrs but still so much things to do and still have to bring home to work.......am i too hardworking little bug for the company?

hope i can everyday post a blog into here so that it wouldn't be so long....hopefully......so much things to write man........

2004-08-17T11:08:00.000+08:00

I just can't bring myself coming into this blog to write any journals....everytime i start writing i will tend to reminds me of the past..remember the days i have with him....i haven't complete my journal that day .......felt totally sad when writing halfway so i publish half of it and i unable to bring myself to complete it.....had a very sad evening when all the memories juz flow into my mind easily and reminding of the missing sweetness i used to have.....i'm totally tired abt it but juz can't help myself into thinking.......

People around me keep telling me is good that this thing ends early as there is no future to it but i was juz telling them can't things end it properly? why must it end it so bluntly? and hurts me so deep......this is the deepest emotions i have put ever and now i got hurt the deepest when he is so heartless to it........when he scold me, have he ever consider abt my feelings before he do that?........haiz........life is so meaningless....all i know is to convert all my sadness into motivation in working.....work so hard for wat but juz to do myself harm?.......

I'm great that during this period of time, there is a person came into my life to hold me back.....i'm so grateful that he appears in that moment becoz if not i'm will not be here writing any more journals already....i always remember that nite........i got so sad that he mention to break off with me and i was so lost at that moment and immediately travel all the way to his house area as i'm so lost.......at that moment i really thought of doing things foolishly and luckily this person know abt it becoz he was toking to me before the things happened.......then after it happen, he heard my attitude totally a big changed and he so worried abt me........he kept calling my hp through the nite but i refuse to pick up until late at nite 10+ i still outside in the east side......then i decided to pick up and he keep consoling me and talk me round not to do things foolishly as he will never forgive on my doings.....i'm so grateful to him but too bad he is a attached guy...so no point continuing with him as i told myself becoz i'm going to hurt myself again.....i can say i pour all my sorrows to him and i'm so weak now........my emotions r totally exhuasted now......i can say if something gonna happen again i think death will be the only way for me already.......i'm so tired of life already.......things r not going smoothly for me everytime........or maybe it serve me right as i choose it myself........first time with a girl then got hurt and then i turn to a guy......now with a guy and got hurt again
who can i turn to now? i think no one i can turn to and when then i can find a person which can treasure me lots? issit a guy or a girl? or none? hoping it is none as i'm so tired of it already.....i really scared of communicating with this person too long as i will fall for him...i'm a person that fall in love easily....i keep telling myself he is attached but he is way too concern for me already and i'm scared....i juz wan to hide at one corner and let everyone ignore me.......journal oh journal......so much sweet memories in here archives.......luckily there is no pics or else i sure cry till i die..........i'm such a emotional guy.......when i'm in love i will put in everything truthfully for that person.......sometimes people juz dun appreciate ur true love for that person.......haiz.......issit really true that true love never ever exist in the world?....i always believe in giving everything for the loved one but has the loved one appreciate and give u the same?i dun mind the person not to give back the same but at least appreciate it........

2004-08-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

Weeks Of Journal

at last i got myself back to writing my journal again.....so much memories have been stored in here and had happen so much things recently......got gd and bad things happening on me......on the day ever since he broke off with me.........things is not going on the right way.....i have found a real true guy friend that cares for me so much and pull me out from the depression i'm facing......i can never expect myself to become so devoted for this love i put in and caused myself so much depress over it........i even admitted to hospital during midnite which no one knows due to gastric.......i was like over exerting myself on work side and keep skipping my meals for a few days....then it start to reacts badly at nite after my frequent skipping of meals.......it happen on like friday nite while sleeping halfway my gastric reacts badly and got no one at home as everyone went to malaysia.....i took a cab and headed to hospital to get a check and determine it is a quite severe gastric....was in hospital for a day observation and discharge the day itself....i been asking myself why i always know of people that can't keep their promise to me? they made their promise to me so real and outcome turns the other way round.....felt so lost and almsot wanted to end my life immediately.......i dun think much ppl knows wat is happening to me this few weeks as i kept myself away from the world at the moment.....I PROUD TO ANNOUNCE I'M NO LONGER ATTACHED TO ANYONE ALREADY.......

i think i lost some weights over these matters and heard my friends telling me why my face look a bit sharper now ..... i still can't get over it that easily man....memories is simply juz flowing into my mind smoothly and makes me think of him badly......i still remember the first time i met him.....i met him early in the morning before i start work and he drove me from Jurong Point to Kiong Albert Park with the subsitute car when his car is on servicing.......then follow on i met him and with him through the whole morning and afternoon..... till i go to work......haiz,...writing this journal had start to make my eyes going to be red again filling up with tears........eyes r a bit swollen everyday since the day he mention to break off.......my heart is totally shattered when we can't even be friends also.....i really hope to maintain as great buddy if possible but been decline.....i juz can't continue to write on the happy stuff now as my mind r filled with the memories of being with him...i simply can't put it down easily.......argh.........so stressed up..........

2004-08-03T09:36:00.000+08:00

Kor, U always on My mind. No one can replace you in me..
Pls Tell me what to do.......

Just For You,
Roger

2004-08-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

i would rather die than survive in this world now.....juz got scolded by my kor and he said not going to see me anymore........why issit like this?.........is dying a solution to everything?....why muz it comes to such a situation when i now think that only when i'm gone then everything will be disappear into the thin air......why can't he let me explain before he come to conclusion?......i'm totally a hopeless guy? really started to find life is so tough and end it as soon as possible......how i wish i can do it right away......

2004-07-28T23:25:00.000+08:00

Every night i'm having sleepless nites....dunno why but maybe i'm simply too concern for someone already....he is simply part of my concern to my life already...without knowing what is happening to him has made me more worries although i know he should be old enough and my worries is extra....but all i can say becoz i already treat him as my next of kin already so the concern is there no matter what....kor, do u know i didn't mean to make u angry? I'm really sorry but i simply want some attention from you can?

I really so stressed up and did u know how many interviews did i goes for and how many of them actually fails? i'm really so stressed up and family members r not showing any concern to me and keep blaming me....what did i do wrong?......been going for quite a no. of interviews past few weeks and nothing seems to be going smoothly that is why i really need to find you out meeting and chat as i find comfortable when with you.....better than staying at home looking into the walls and hoping the walls can talk to me....they all didn't even bothers abt my 21st birthday is already enough....

P.S Kor, I be expecting your call this week okay? I'm really didn't mean to make you angry on monday one....I'm sincerely saying sorry to you....I'm not depending on you too much but juz that i need someone to lean on at the moment.....or else my life is so meaningless already....I been standing on the world for so long and i think it is time for me to take a rest before i can stand up again......trust me i also cannot rely on u too much what when i have to enter into NS rite?

2004-07-26T14:28:00.000+08:00

Lost Lost Lost

I really dunno whether to continue writing my journal in here or not......My only purpose in setting this online journal is actually want to let my kor to know what i'm doing everyday....i wish to share everything in me with him....he is my kor forever i already swear to myself....I'm feeling so lost now......where is my kor to keep me back to my track mof life again?.....He is the only person that can get me back to my life track again......I feel my health immune system is deteoriating dunno why....i seems to fall sick easily also.....really feeling not good although i act to be okay to people in front but actually i'm having a tummy ache dunno what i had upset my stomach....it didn't happen to me so long already.....Weak man.....no appetite to eat also now...

P.S. Kor, This week will be very free for me to meet you up as my interview appointment is quite sparsely spread out.....mostly happens to be in the east also.....so hopefully u can arrange a day for this week for me to meet you up....oh yah i also like to borrow a book from you to read partly to kill my time also....

2004-07-24T12:01:00.000+08:00

Save the Best For Last - Vanessa Williams

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it's all a big surprise
Cause there was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how i find
But somehow it's enough
But now we're standing facing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when i thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for the last
All of the nights you came to me
When some silly girl had set you free
You wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong to you
Cause how could you give your love to someone else
And share your dreams with me
Sometimes the very thing you looking for
Is the one thing you can't see
But now we're standing facing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for the last
Sometimes the very thing you looking for
Is the one thing you can't see
Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes round the moon
Just when I thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for the last
You went and saved the best for the last

2004-07-24T03:07:00.000+08:00

muz be dreaming

2004-07-24T03:06:00.000+08:00

Kor, This is the type of watch I'm into for....Been my dream to have such a watch to wear with my formal clothes....hahahamuz be dreaming

2004-07-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

Few Days Happening

A lot of things actually happened these few days but not in the petrol kiosk anymore because i have decided to stop the work in there....All i can say working in the petrol kiosk makes me feel like being buried in a store with no future.....

I been to a fcw interviews these few days and all not successful due to some of the factors which i can't give them and they feel it is a pity to lose such a good candidate like me.....hahaha.....thick-skinned right?....okay....the places i gone to sure make people envy me so much and i better tell....first i went to Starhub to interview at the position of Customer Coordinators.....the details i shall not say why it is not successful......then the following day i went to Mediacorp to interview.....that was a remote place that i decided to take a cab down instead of taking the public transport......also the same position.....hahaha....envy me going down to mediacorp...saw quite a few artistes but too bad not in the mood to be excited seeing them so i continue to stay calm...... all was in the morning interview appointment.....I have impressed the interviewers with the way i communicate with them and the way i express myself out to my enthutism in working for them......they were so keen in taking in me but then things happen differently when come to the last part of discussion on the job commitment, etc.....the details were to be share with my brother......okay....that is the end for my interviews and ended with jobless now again....don't tell me i have to go to work in petrol kiosk......no way for me to go back man...i would rather stay at home everyday do housework and clean my pets and meet my brother than working for that stupid place with such a lowly-paid salary....i thought the pay my boss could offer me is so fantastic which wants me to be back to help him out......

Talking abt mediacorp artistes....I saw Zoe Tay,Chen Hanwei and etc.....which i forgotten their names at the moment liao.....must be saying wasted didn't take pics with them rite? they look so gorgoeus for ladies and suave for guys.....hmmmm.....too bad i cannot be their colleague at the moment but they invited me to go for another interview when i got out from NS....hahaha......great opportunity to grab for.....the interviewer even gave me his namecard and ask me to look for him after my NS...hopefully he is still around as what he said to me.....

Lastly all i can say is still miss my kor so much.....haven't been seeing him for a week liao....although we still in contact sometimes in ICQ but then wondering when can i see him fully recovered? hmmmm...although that day after my starhub interview actually was about to meet my kor and when i reach bedok then he message me better not meet today maybe he is busy so i decided not to pursue the matter and made a turn back to the west....imagine the journey is like 40 mins already and have to make a turn....feeling so sad when taking bus back to west from bedok...i know it is a long journey but just enough time for me to sob alone in the bus also....muz be a crybaby....so when the bus was passing by tanjong pager and it is lunch hour already so i called one of my ex-colleague out for lunch as she is working in that area also....my feeling deep inside me is not feeling good but have to act nothing happen in front of everyone....haiz....tough being a human man.....had a great lunch with my ex-colleague....talk quite a lot during the lunch although it is short but great.....i didn't say much abt my kor to her although she knows......then she ask why i didn't look for my kor then i replied i said he is busy so i look her up....then she said no wonder she is the backup then....hahaha....that was the day on my interview with starhub.....mediacorp that day interview totally was alone and after that was accompanying my cousin for scanning the foetus.......all i can say that was a great joke on the visting for the clinic....because it is her first time checkup and her hubby cannot make it so she asked me and i'm free so went together.....i was outside waiting for her while she is inside the room consulting the doc.....when come to the scanning part which is also the embarrassing part, the nurse actually told me softly that i can go in the room to see what is happening but that time i was listening to my discman so didn't notice then she repeated her words slightly louder which the whole clinic can hear as it is so quiet in there....she said this time u r her husband can go in and see the scanning process do u know that? i was so stunned at that moment and replied i'm not her husband and all the patients heard and break into laughter........so embarrasing....maybe next time dun ever go to such places alone with a pregnant woman especially or else will get mistaken.......oh my god....my face immediately went so red and so pai seh and continue to listen to my discman......haiz.....wat a day been mistaken for someone else husband.....do i look like a guy that someone wans me except my kor?

Kor, Wish me all the best for all my interviews and hopefully i can get to see u next week okay.....see u

2004-07-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

P.S...Kor, No matter what happen i will always be with you.....as the promise you made is always in my mind....hope you still remember what you promise me.....

2004-07-19T09:39:00.000+08:00

Weekend is just over and everything seems very tough to me......the time passes so slow when i feel so sick...i have to help out at the kiosk again....when then i can stop this stupid job?....haiz.......so lonely working in such place especially when u feel weak......i was still having my fever through the weekend but nobody knows......even my parents didn't even know i'm sick becoz they were never free to stay at home and observe what is happening to me.....on my way home on saturday after work, simply i feel myself is so sick and i recieve my kor sms......feel so great to have him message me but then i really very sick that i can't reply him much also.....wat a waste.......my fever is back again then i took medicine to control the conditions and slept through the night uncomfortably ......i feel so terrible and the next morning i feel slightly better already...my fever had subside but conditions of my body haven't recover fully....appetite not there and head is spinning....but i still drag myself to work as i promise to help out....see i'm so loyal friend cum person one.......i'm true and loyal to everything especially to my love so who is the one i love sure get full of me watever i can......okay today i feeling in the good condition already......fever has gone and headache no longer as pain as ever ....all i want now is to see my kor.....

P.S. Kor , You r really someone important to me.......i'm sure you are aware of all these....not i dun wan to rely u too much but juz want to let u know u r important to me....

2004-07-17T09:53:00.000+08:00

so many days didn't submit any entries already........haiz..........same old me with troubles surrounding me......waiting for so many days at last my kor call me on wednesday already after behaving myself not calling,sms or email him......at least he shows he still cares for me.......when i saw his call i was like flying over the sky and can't feel the worries i had anymore......felt so carefree the moment i hear his warm voice through my hp......wee........but then not to forget i'm still having slight fever......my fever haven't fully recover and i yet still wish to use up my movie vouchers and watch with him......i made appointment with him on friday to watch a show with him at afternoon time......wee.....can't wait for the day to come......later at nite i was invited to a friend's birthday celebration but then i think it suppose to be clubbing so i join them with my slight fever on.....i drank a bit this time as i tried to cut down already becoz my kor doesn't like people to drink one.....dunno why maybe i'm sick that day that is why a bit of alcohol made me so sick already.....i really cannot stand it so i left before the clock strikes 12am which not the usual me if were to go clubbing with them....sorry to disappoint serene,germaine,shini and their friends as i'm really can't take it anymore as i'm totally weak that nite......the following morning when to see a doctor and he scolded me to go clubbing when i'm still sick as my health doesn't approve such activities so he gave me a jab to get the fever away quickly as i told him i got important appointment on friday......sianz.....been popping pills for so many days at last a jab cure everything.......but then pimples been popping out maybe thinking too much of my kor and plus i'm having fever......STRESSED.........but never mind thinking of friday i'm so excited.....dunno i'm too enthutiastic about this meeting or what....with my recovering fever i run through the rain to the bus stop as i forgotten to bring umbrella along without realising i'm still a sick guy.....i have to take a bus to the train station in order to get caught in the rain more.... so when i got into the train, i was like slightly feeling a bit cold shivering already....shit am i going to be sick again......never mind seeing my kor is more important.......then i reach bishan at 11am while the show start at 12.55pm...i have to be there earlier in order partially to ensure there is seats available and also requires to be early for vouchers redemption.......i thought he will be reaching early to have lunch with me but dun have....he comes exactly on the time and got no time to grab a bite ......i dun dare to tell him i'm hungry becoz i dun wish to miss the show with him.....so i bear with the hunger through the 2 and a half hours show of Brotherhood......in the theatre i was shivering cold and hungry......i'm so cold in there that i wanted to hug my kor to get some warmth but dun dare to do it so through the show i was moving a lot to keep myself a bit warm......i think my kor got a bit touch by the show....same as me but then i didn't really cry out as my tears r dry out becoz of him....but he i think got touch to tears rolling down lor....after the show we headed to toa payoh as he need to meet his friend so i was like been throw away again...seperate at the front door of HDB Hub then no choice have to go and work so took 157 to the kiosk.....actually i dun feel like working in the petrol kiosk one but then no choice as i promise to help one.....wish he can get someone better than me becoz i'm really sick of frontline job already.....standing there like a statue of service......hahaha......during the journey to work i sms my kor but then no reply....dunno why this time he didn't say anything leh.....haiz......wondering what he is doing now......hmmm....reach my work place liao.......hate to see the store lah actually becoz i got no mood to work already......i feel so moody then i give the sianz sianz look lor and then before my boss leave i told him to be prepare for me to leave by this week if possible.....at nite time i sure blast the kiosk with clubbing songs to bring life to it.....heyhey.......real hip hop man......even the pump attendent also enjoy working with me as time passes faster like this rather than listening to class95 which is playing oldies....i dun mind listening to it but not at such places lor.....anyway i'm going to switch job again........

P.S. Kor, Hope to be the first one to be with you without your neck collar on....Misses those days you drive me around carefree life and of course not forgetting those things we do together.....

2004-07-13T01:27:00.000+08:00

I simply can't get to sleep so early nowadays....been waiting for my kor's call everyday now...it has been 2nd days haven't got any news from him and restrain from sms or call him but yesterday i email him just to inform him i'm sick....actually been having fever but still struggle to work place....or else at home sure goes mad thinking of him and no one knows i'm sick at home also....sianz.....today manage to recover a bit but then still whole body feeling so weak...no appetite to eat also...haiz....dunno how long do i still have to wait.....scared i cannot withstand the way i'm going at this rate..sooner or later sure go into dripping glucose water liao....now when i bend down at work and stand up i feel giddy liao.......haiz.......just had my leg cramps recovered only....maybe overstrain my muscle during work plus weak body...haiz....

P.S .Kor, Remember the movie tickets expires on 19th July...please kindly make arrangements to it okay...we can watch at Tampines Mall....looking forward for your call

2004-07-12T11:33:00.000+08:00

a life without living
a dance with no song
to laugh without smiling
a house, but not a home

it's like the heartache i'm feeling
no flow of blood to my brain
an abysmal darkness sinking
or dreams sweeping down the drain

that's the sadness i live with
silently throught so many days
but the euphoria i brim with
just when i see your face

a song without singing
fire but no warmth
darkness that falls without warning
a heart but no way to o o love

that's the heartbreak i'm feeling
no air in my breath
loneliness spans without ending
my body, mind, soul crushed by the air

that's the silence i sleep with
through days of black and gray
but the sunlight that shines on me
when i see your face

tells me that you love me

2004-07-12T10:13:00.000+08:00

I somehow wish i can end my life now....life is so miserable...everytime when i try to fly, i fly without my wings,i feel so small.....
Ever knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring

Everyday i just waiting for that call which can give me back the hopes of life...if he never calls me again i sure get lost in the world and just simply worried that i might give up my life anytime if i can....why my life always met with such a huge encounter....why everytime promises made cannot be kept? while i so stupid i always keep to my promises....sometimes i really think i'm a fool to world....

2004-07-11T09:36:00.000+08:00

Sad Sad Sad........Sobbing through the days

I been every single night sobbing alone in the room hiding at a corner....Thinking of my birthday is a rainy day suppose to be a day with showering blessings for me that is told by my kor but i think i have to think negatively now already....haiz.....why my kor is treating me like this....I thought i can always be my kor's boy boy but then he seems like treating me so cold recently after my 21st birthday...he sent me a msg saying dun wan me to send him sms,email and call him at the moment until he calls me....when will you call me ,KOr?...i miss you badly.....i didn't expect him to use the word of not meeting me anymore as a threaten to make me not calling him......why is he changing his attitude to me when i know he still likes me and i likes you so much.....I scared i really can't take it and i'm so tired of life already....haiz.....i think there is nothing else in the world to makes me continue my life when he used to be my motivation for every single day......can't he simply call me and tell me nicely that why he doesn't wan me to sms or call him? do he has to threaten me to the extend to stop me? i'm a understanding person if u tell me nicely one....i think i will be crying silently in my heart everyday until the day u call me.....i also not going to work at petrol kiosk already....i wan to join in my kor's company to help you out okay but i need you to guide me along clinching deals as i'm new to this line....

P.S. Kor, I'm desperately looking forward for your precious call....just tell me nicely why you r like this leh......

2004-07-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

3 Days of Blog to write

I tried to hold myself up through the 2 days without getting my kor's response...I simply like his support to me....he is just like my next kin person already......in order for me to have more time to rest, i asked to change my shift and is like working from tuesday 3pm till wednesday 8am....long hours shift but then as my habits is like once the sun rise i dun get to sleep already...so wednesday morning i got home and slept only 2 hours and woke up do nothing but excited that thursday is my 21st birthday...then in the afternoon i went to have ice-cream with my cousin and her husband....walk around jurong point for a while and headed down to suntec city to meet shini,lay tien,germaine, jasen and germaine's friend......I thought it is simply a dinner gathering but didn't expect it to become a small party for me.....so surprise to it but yet can't help waiting for the actual day to come and spend it with my kor....then after the dinner, they all headed to go clubbing while i still like deciding to go or not...then i was like in the end, i choose to go although i told myself it is the last time.....i now in my blog itself promise to my kor that day will be my last day to club already as i want to be your dearest didi and be a good boy already...i got home was like 4am already so i still have to keep to my urge in waking up early and meet my kor in the morning....i woke up at 8am which suppose to reach his place one so i quickly hurry up and took a cab down to his house...simply can't wait to see him after so many days he bullying me...so i reach his place at 9+am becoz i caught in the jam in PIE towards his place....Wee.....at last i able to be with him already after so many days...as i said he is my energy,simply the moment i sees him my whole body tiredness all disappear ....i spend with him for 4 hours but very nice and precious moments.....around evening time i didn't expect him to turn back to the ignoring type of him to me...the attitude towards me is breaking my heart bits by bits but then i'm very devoted to true love one so that will never makes me put him aside but will makes me love him deeper only...haiz.....through the evening nobody notices today is my birthday....i tried to hint my dad and mum but yet they still dun get it....haiz....my sister is not back from work....then through the night i just hoping to hear from my kor but ended got a msg happy birthnite to me only.....i now placed my kor in my rank as no.1 already....he has replaced my parents ranking after today....i think i'm going to have my first 21st teardrops dripping down from my face already.....haiz........then i headed to my bed and hugging my bolster juz like hugging my kor tightly not letting him go....

PS.. Kor , I will never put you aside...the more you ignore me the more i can't concentrate on my work you know.....

2004-07-06T08:45:00.000+08:00

How i wish can turn back time

This is monday....on sunday i work till quite late and slept at 1am....on monday morning i was so happy that i can visit my kor already so i woke up at 8am and travel all the way to pasir ris juz to find him...when i reach there it is already 9am and was at white sands msg him asking whether issit convenient to go to his house now...then i waited and waited until 10am i left white sands and headed to his house downstairs....and again i waited and waited until i called him at 11am but he refuse to pick up my call...dunno what is going on with him....i miss him so much.....he said that i can visit him on weekdays one.....haiz....when i was waiting at his house downstairs, i'm already sobbing with tears....bad to let ppl see me in tears so i hide a corner and cried then left after crying....took a bus back and have to work at 2.30pm at bukit timah area....haiz....during the journey, i just can't help holding back my tears but luckily i was sitting at a corner also....so my tears wasn't that obvious but the person sitting at the other corner is staring at me why i out of sudden burst into tears....haiz....reach my working place with no more tears.....luckily or else i will be questioned......i'm totally lost now....dun really feel like working already....i feel like this work has cause a strain to the relationship....how i wish i can turn to last wednesday and meet my kor and things might happen differently....i hate this job.........

Kor,I'm really pin very high hope in having my day with you....or else no other close people around to be with me on that day already....pls.....reply me and call me whatever u can ....

2004-07-04T12:27:00.000+08:00

Sweet,Sour,Bitter and Spicy Days

It has been 4 days haven't did any update to my blog already....I miss my kor so much as 1 full week didn't see him already....Quite busy with the petrol kiosk thing and everyday is so tired after work....wishing i able to stay by my kor side and being pampered by him.....I cannot believe on wednesday nite he actually asked me able to go to his place on thursday to visit him but then i have to work at the petrol kiosk so cannot go and meet him....i really miss him so much after seeing his msg and i was like my soul flying over to his side already...i even argue with my boss to let me off on thursday but ended up failure becoz shortage of staffs....haiz.....i think my decline to it disappoint him....I'm really feel sorry for it and i really miss my dearest chance of seeing him.....then immediately on thursday morning i changed my shift to later part of the day just hoping to see my kor on friday morning before i start work but ended up being rejected also....haiz.....it really makes me feel so sad after his decline and didn't even pick up my call...i didn't know is whether angry with me or wat....during the evening he asked me not to msg or call him until he is free to do so....everytime he says such thing to me i feel so down......haiz...........miss him so much......I DON'T WANT TO WORK ALREADY...I WANT TO MEET MY KOR WHENEVER I CAN....until now i haven't got a single call from him then....i'm waiting and waiting...until saturday comes...my cousin's wedding is the day...so tired you know...i got home from work is already 1am and then slept at 2am but have to wake up 5 am to help my cousin's house....so tiring...sleep for only 4 hours....everyday single day been sleeping so little....scared that on my birthday that day i will turn into panda soon....i think i gonna quit soon...not suitable for me man....back to the wedding..great lor...so much tradition things to follow and because i'm the person to open the door for the bride's groom so also have to wear very nice...in the morning, i have to take breakfast with my cousin as the last meal with her and then early in the morning eating rice...then i was joking with them that we are having dinner now as the sky is still dark and acts like evening already...hehehe...then the makeup artist arrive her place at7.15am and followed by the photographer arrives in another 15mins time...the photographer is quite friendly and enjoyed talking to him...he is telling me normally how the things works and what i should do lor...at 8am the bride's groom arrived and the photographer ask me to make him wait for a while lor...hahaha....so when i got down there i have to bring along a red plate with a pair of oranges to welcome him...haiz....so much tradition things to do...i was like as busy as the bride also...hahaha no choice as she is my godsister also so have to wish her all the best to it...... the photographer pity me also because i seems to be so busy also....i have to take videocam throughout the process everything lor...i was like playing a few roles every single min...i think through the day i been talking a lot to the photographer...i got nothing much to talk with my relatives and i scared of also as they were start asking me where is my gf so i better stay aside with the photographer talking throughout lor...he also asking me why didn't i go and talk to my relatives but he knows lah...just wanted to tease me so i joke back saying that i don't know them.....was at at my cousin's place until 3pm then got home to change for the night suit lor....then i'm so worried for my cousin and her husband so i called and check with them whether need me to get them dinner before the wedding start because they won't get to eat the dinner lor...they were so greatful when i reach there with 2 packets of food...hahaha...we were eating in the hotel room while waiting for the makeup artist to come and do my cousin's makeup lor...after eating i felt so tired already....totally whole body no energy....but no choice and have to attend that dinner based on tradition as i'm the most important role to start off the dinner...if i'm late for the dinner they have to start the dinner late because i'm the Uncle for this couple as so call witness lah...hehehe....big VIP rite....no lah then while the makeup artist doing makeup for my cousin i was joking that i should go and watch a show then back for the dinner and make them wait hor...but in the end i was there chatting through with my god sister and the makeup artist....during evening time i didn't get to talk much to the photographer but he notice abt me and comment on the suit i wore lor...quite impressive...then took a pic of me with my godsister at the entrance...i wore a brown suit with a pink long sleeve shirt plus a shiny blue tie....quite eye-catching then the groom suit...hahaha....everyone eyes is on me rather than the groom so i took off the tie after the first dish so wasn't that bad lor....but still a bit eye catching because of the pink color i wore...after the 3 dish i went up with my godsister to change to evening gown while i take the chance to rest also...i stayed in the room till the last dish then i turn up.....i was totally ran out of energy so have to rest lor...i kind of feeling sad as my dearest godsister cum buddy will not be able to come out that often to accompany me anymore when i'm real bored although most of the time she is not the help of it but still got 1 or 2 times lah....i now will be waiting for the photographer pics took for the day to be out lor...then i can show u people to see how i wear for the day and night...hahaha.....got home at 1am and straight away sleep with my aircon on.....now i'm writing before i go to work ...dunno can choose not to go or not...bad sore throat and a bit headache.....lousy me......i miss my kor so much......

P.S. Kor, I'm really sorry ....do u know how much i miss you?....Please call me as soon as possible....wish to hear your voice once and again....

2004-06-29T23:27:00.000+08:00

A Busy Start Off for the Week

These 2 days haven't been writing my blog constantly because of my schedule is slightly a bit busy nowadays......monday morning i was like talking to my kor with some sweet talks....the conversations had brought me alive for the day....then in the later part of the morning, my ex-boss called me to meet him up for some briefing to be given for my new job assigned.....then spent half a day learning things that i had never come across....i think i can never run away from customer service or so-call frontline job....now i'm helping out in a petrol kiosk....in the meantime i was at other kisok to learn the standards and service and tact lines to be in this line....didn't know that so much of service to be given for just a simple petrol kiosk....then at nite i was like at home alone throughout as my parents having come home yet.....so went to sleep and ends my story for the day

Tuesday is a day to start with the real work....i have to reach the training kiosk at 8.30am....long time didn't have to work so early liao so i got my kor to wake me up....great to have him around....he called me up to wake me up at 7am and so nice to have his voice as my breakfast....hahaha......then it really perks me up even i didn't drink any coffee in the morning.....so today i have learnt quite a lot of things till 3 knock off time and chat with my ex-boss quite a lot things until 5+....got home by train and have to stand through the journey as just happen to be the knock off time for everyone working in CBD also.....damn tired for my legs man.....at last i reach home while msg with my kor ....great little evening time with his msg.....i can get easily satisfy with someone i like....including laytien conversations also.....hahaha.....every night is almost happening the same so no need to say further but got a short blackout at lots of places including jurong....made me so panic for my fish pond and tank....thinking so hard how to save my fish and come up with this resort quickly went to get those portable fans to create some motions for the water....everything was saved and my whole living litted up with candle lights....so romantic with the moonlight shining into the house.....great scenes......if i can be with my kor or the girl i loved sure can damn romantic lor...enjoying such a feeling....hardly come across to have the moonlight shining onto u in sg.....i'm writing this blog after a while resume back from the blackout.....

Hope my Kor neck collar can get off as soon as possible and my birthday is approaching.....Wheee.....Can't wait for the day to come

2004-06-28T09:14:00.000+08:00

Weekends' Habits

don't know why always comes to weekend i will always think of the person that came into my life....i can stop missing my kor during weekdays but when come to weekends it seems like something is missing without him around with me....always the presence of him is so concern to me nowadays....no matter how i'm busy the moment i able to slow down my pace of life, the image of him will slowly comes into my life again....on friday actually nothing much i did only the most excviting part is the nitelife of mine....my friend r having a party for his birthday so i went to attend as part of clubbing also....so weird first time heard that been invited yet have to pay.....haiz...never mind lah....juz take it as a present for my friend lor....we shared paying a bottle of vodka to share among us...oh yah forgot to say where were we at that time...we were at Centro 360 then was a bit not happening before 12 so me and a small group of friends left the place and headed down to MS to somehow happening area.....we went to quite a few places....we manage to get in to M.W. and had a drink and was too crowded and headed to another one Dbl O...okie then we settle down at dlb O and enjoy through the nite already.....i had quite a lot of drinks that nite but yet to be drank maybe simply i feel happy lor....hehehe....overall i drank including at centro and madam wong, 1 vodka blackcurrant, 1 flaming lambourgini, 4 housepours shooters,1 screwdriver, 1 beer and 4 vodka neats......so much man.....nobody believes i can drink so much even for my friends as they never sees i drink such a strong liquor before...okay then i reach home at 4am and slept at 4.30am....so tired becoz was dancing crazily through the nite.....but the worst part is i automatically woke up at 8am in the morning which is my habit...made me feeling so tired in my body....i think the systems in me is complaining they are tired but no choice used to the waking up time already...saturday's afternoon i went shopping with my cousin's sister to get her dress for the wedding's day....Seems to be busy through the month with this stupid wedding thing....i got myself a pinkish stripes shirt as it hits my eyes and wanted to create some awareness.....hehehe.......okay then my weekend ends just like thta as sunday i did nothing much but juz resting at home....eating very simplest food but halfway got drag out by my parents to go IMM to do a bit of shopping again.....i was like draggin my feet through the building and at last i manage to go back and immediately i fall asleep at 5pm as too tired....i skip my dinner also....then woke up at 7pm and went to sleep again at 12am after a bath and some documentary programs in Discovery channel...was enjoying those tv shows in my room with air-con....great life to be....hahaha....that is my weekends how it goes like but now damn broke already...waiting for someone to support me liao....

P.S. to my Kor, I'm would like to aplogize to cause u so much trouble recently...I didn't mean it okay...

2004-06-24T20:02:00.000+08:00

Few Days of JOY

Yesterday was quite a wonderful day for me...Spent the whole morning at my kor's place...i was with him and his family members through the morning.. I was chatting with him the whole morning and talking things about my interview and the stress i'm facing...although he looks a bit weird with his neck cast on but all i wish for him to recover as soon as possible as i wanna spend my birthday with him this year....Wishing to have a Most Memorable Birthday in my Life...Oh yah i gave him the guardian angel to him yesterday also....he was like reprimanding me for spending money again....i said to him i believe in angels so buying this thing i dun mind it so long he is being protected by my belief...actually i started to believe in angels all got a story behind one....the angels story is reminding me back to my sad days...

to keep it short it all started with my first crush with a girl....

i tried so hard to impress my first crush so i got this type of figurines becoz all the cravings got its own meanings behind....then she at first quite touched becoz of my efforts made but then due to the cost, i stop buying this type of things for her and she is kind of asking for it....haiz....then i was like got her a set of 6 at one short and i definetly dry up ever since....after one month with her, we broke off as i can't satisfy her with her desires so i agreed breaking off on surface but my heart shattered into small little pieces inside from that day....i fell sick for almost 1 weeks and then she was like went to the shop that i went and bought me the same angel that i get for my kor....then after i slightly got well every single day so i believe in guardian angel from that day onwards....i think comfort i able to get is from my kor and not from the girl becoz after that gift we did not talk or contact one another already....

from that day i know my kor is before i got my first crush....oh yeah...so i'm giving my kor this angel is really a deep meaning behind it....so if you are reading it so treasure it preciously becoz it symbolic my first love gift.....i'm not giving you the actual one but i got the identical one for you...all i can say that gift is below $50 but not below $10 of coz....dun look down on it okay....

back to my day i headed to help him to wash the fish tank for him after chatting with him...he unable to move about easily so i also promise so no choice...hehehe....made myself a bit wet but never mind lah.....love to see a tank that is clean and quite satisfying when it is done...not long after i finish, my kor invited me for his mum cooked lunch....so touched as so long haven't eat home-cooked food liao...although it is not so tasty but then can feel so nice....it is so huge plate and my kor told me becoz i help him to clean the fish tank that is why his mum got me a bigger plate....hahaha.....so full after that and i left heading home after his place...i left around 2pm then was like so tired already then nite time have to go shopping for a pair of shoes that suit my clothes on my cousin's wedding....hahaha.....okay that is my end of the day already....I can say it is so satisfying day for me....all i can say juz hoping next week to approach soon so i can visit him again....oh yesh....

2004-06-22T18:23:00.001+08:00

Hope He Like it

2004-06-22T18:23:00.000+08:00

Closer Look at it

2004-06-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

My Kor's Present

2004-06-22T15:25:00.000+08:00

A Day fill With Pains

Today I think whole day been msg my kor but then no response from him....I went out of house since early morning 8am for interviews.. feel so tired wearing long sleeve shirt and a pant with leather shoe....damn tired with such heavy wear but feel happy when travelling together with the working people....hahaha....Siao rite?....I headed down to Ngee Ann City Tower A for a short interview with a job agency for the position of customer service helpdesk but might intro some other jobs for me as they find i might suitable for some other positions also....haiz...then not long after i headed down to shangri-la hotel for a position as Guest Relation Officer but i cannot join them as they wanted a staff that can commit more than 6 months....haiz....so tired and having headache right after this interview then i cancel all the interviews to be held in the afternoon which got 1 more....totally bad headache and i took a rest at takashimaya macdonald...maybe i still not ready for any jobs yet that is why i'm not sincere enough to find one yet...after that i headed home and i took a bus so that i can get to sleep through the journey....i'm going to cancel all the interviews to be held the rest of my week....i'm totally exhuasted now...sick of being asked and interview already.....during the second interview i almost screw up the thing as my head is killing me and they keep asking me this and that before they can conclude that they need a staff that works longer....idiot....i think i'm going to visit my kor another time one of these days in this week...i gonna pass him the rice dumpling i made and the present i got for him during his stay in hospital...i think my headache is caused by lack of sleeping and partially thinking too much of my kor already...dunno why issit becoz of so many days didn't see him then yesterday with him for only one hour seems not enough for me...haiz...am i too demanding already for a sick guy?....i have submitted my confession for the entries on 16/6.....actually i wanted to say out since last week but it took me to think so much to publish out this entries...i think it is time for me to let everyone that is viewing my blog to know already...then today was like a damn bad day for me.....no SMS from my kor, Headache killing me, interviews flooding my head.....argh....cannot stand it already and gonna stop for a while ebfore i reagin back to my life....i think i been thinking of my kor too much already.....but i think that is the power of love.....by the time my kor get to see all these entries i dunno will he get to understand me better?....feel like hugging him now....everyone out there....hugging from someone u like/love is a kind of therapy to you....believe me it is true....when u r really stressed or tired and ur loved one just hug u and u totally soft down and no more stress or tired in you already....

2004-06-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Monday Sweet Blue Day

Today I had a very busy day....Early in the morning i had one interview located at the CBD area....forgotten the company name but then i was offer a job position as Customer cum Sales Coordinator and the interview last me almost 2 hours...So tiring but then i dun mind as after the interview,I'm totally energize to travel all the way to the east side juz to meet my someone at the house....my someone said that have to stay at home the whole month so i got the whole month to visit my someone.....When i reach my someone's place is around 12 and then was at the doorstep, i got a shock as i saw my someone's mother and the nephew there because he has to drive and help out my someone with the house chores....haiz....I was so pai seh then i said i'm looking for my someone then my someone came to doorstep walking slowly to bring me in...hahaha....the moment i saw my someone i was so happy in my heart but the cast on the neck makes me feel so pain...dunno why i can feel so deep for my someone....we were chatting so happily with my someone the whole one hour then i left the house at 1+ because there is someone coming to the house so i have to leave....I wanted to stay through the day with my someone as i really feel so sweet and warm inside my heart even though i cannot hug my someone....when i leave my someone's house, i headed for a haircut and i think everyone should be expecting a brand new look of me....hahaha.....I think i will go for a haircut only when i'm good mood or really bad mood.....i will not go for a haircut for nothing one....i think today is my happiest day among these 2 weeks...i think this hairstyle i'm having nobody will expect me to cut like this one...i cut it this way all for my someone as my someone like it this way and suits me too....no more long hair....no more colored hair.....then right after my haircut i got an interview right away to go for last min one as the person called for a short interview if i can so i proceed on...it is located at ngee ann city and position given is customer service again so i went there....so tiring day....i ended the whole thing and reach home at 6....I really dun wish to leave my someone place ...haiz.....hoping to visit my someone soon this week....hoping to spend real good time personally with my someone.....
when i got home the place is so empty...no one at home and have to eat bread for dinner again...i wish i'm at my someone's place to be with....now when i'm typing out this blog, my hifi set is blasting the house with new age sound....give it a try as my reccomendations....Kevin Kern's Album...all the collection from this person is nice...it is instrumental type but quite relaxing music....I'm going crazy already....wishing to appreciate this music with my someone while drinking a cup of nice coffee...all i wan now is to fulfil my wishlist before i enter NS...

Personally to my someone:
Today i'm glad i can get to see you but hope next time able to be more personal with you. Dun worry i will sure help you to clean your fish tank one but not today as i dress so formal so cannot dirty it...hope you understand it....i help you to clean next time okay....I got you a real gift for you...very special present and meaningful also...but expensive also hor....

2004-06-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

4 days didn't put in my blog already.....slightly a bit busy through the weekend but then still missing my someone.....

Haiz....why like that....the image of my someone doesn't fade away easily and seems like a bit upset everyday of my life ever since i dun get to see my someone....heyhey.....can say should be happy that my cousin is getting married but then i still missing my someone so i dun feel happy for that....on saturday was busy through the day helping my cousin to give away the traditional sweets stuff to the relatives houses and then it took the whole day to finish delivering to every single places....then in the evening my parents went for a wedding dinner so i was totally neglected already....i think since i stop my work i feel the neglect from ym parents is still there....no changes at all...mouth said want to compensate me the time with me but the actions done was totally opposite....haiz.....STRESSED.....during saturday all the relatives saw me and said like umpteen of years didn't see me already and i look so big in size to them already....i almost got mistaken for my cousin's husband....hahaha....then i was laughing replied i dun even have a gf how to get married...and i dun married so early unless something happen....they were saying my criteria to get a gf is not difficult but i replied them is all depends on the chemistry and then i keep quiet because they keep pushing me to get married.....CRAZY....haven't have enough fun then get tied down with the marriage.....then sunday my mum was busy doing rice dumplings then again i'm being neglected and my father is so busy that can't even celebrate father's day with him....haiz....got him a present and then he like it...it is just a simply case to put his stuff in....but quite costly becoz of the material.....he got home around 11+ which i already sleep and he knows i'm broke after buying the present for him so he left me a $50 bill in my wallet which i discover this morning....haiz....wat i wan is the care and concern but not the money....haiz....they still can't understand wat i wan....CRYING inside my heart......I think only my someone can understand me most.....i always there for my someone....dun worry my soul will always be ur guardian looking after you....glad to hear that you feeling better and i was on the phone with him on friday morning...i really can't bear to put down the phone after toking with the warm voice....Touched Deep Down in my heart....I been craving for such feeling for so long already.....at last the nightmares i been having had turn into sweet dreams every night....Thanks to my someone's call....my someone has changed my life totally....learn to appreciate classical,sleeping early, stop drinking alcohol drinks and a lot more has bring me good to me....I would like to say Thanks to You and Be with You Forever.....

2004-06-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

This morning i sent a msg to my someone and then i recieve the call from my someone....
was telling me that calling me is quite tough so i was so touch and worried at the same time....i thought the operation my someone did has recovered totally that is why able to discharge...but who knows that after discharge still have to stay at home to rest so many days to be fully recover from it....the moment i hear the voice from my someone was feeling so terrible my heart is also feeling not good even....i think i have mistaken for so many days but why can't my someone reply my msg instead of calling....nvm but just want to say that my someone has always in my heart ranking the first ever since i know you....pls recover quickly as i wish to be with you as soon as possible...cannot visit you or see you the feelings is quite terrible....why can't you let me show some care and concern to you when u r sick?...caring and concerning silently is so hard as i wish to be by your side somedays taking care of you ....Today I was staying at home through the day doing nothing.....morning had a simple breakfast at least i have a bit of appetite after recieving the call from my someone....i think for almost a week plus i haven't had my breakfast already...now my appetite is a bit starting to get back already....then lunch time i still skip for it....haiz....still a bit worried for my someone and i can feel the pain for my someone even though the operation is not on me...afternoon i was on the net and doing nothing....walking round the empty house dunno what to do....wanted to go out but the sun is soaring hot so i decided to stay put.....nowadays it seems like the moment i go out i will like tends to go to the east side of sg juz wish to see my someone....dinner time have come and of coz i cook for the dinner as my parents will be back for dinner...i had my dinner alone and appetite also not gd enough so had only half a bowl of rice....then the whole evening is like empty to me....my parents juz got home only at 11 then i was now writing my blog....haiz....can someone tell me what is life?

Why must life never short of the section for Love?

2004-06-17T04:26:00.000+08:00

writing my confession tooks me the whole day to think whether to announce or not but i think it is a form of way to let my kor know the importance of him to me....today i recieve a msg from him telling me he is discharging today and i didn't get to see him a single min or time....haiz....makes me feel so sad...then later part i went for a interview at simei for a temp job but unsuccessful as they need a person which got experience....feel so cheated to go all the way down there and i thought of visiting my kor since he is discharging today....i was so scared to meet anything so i msg him to see whether i can go or not but i arrive his place before i got any reply from him...i been through the afternoon waiting for his reply while i sat at the mac near his place juz to pop by...i waited till around 4+ then i left and still no response from him...i felt so sad leaving and was like totally lost dunno where to go...i dun wish to go home as there is no one at home now....haiz....and while taking a bus towards white sands i was thinking what he actually want from me.....his change of attitude to me is so unpredictable...pls dun be like that..i know you r a guy i can trust on so that is why i dun mind everything....i mean u can see it for yourself that i really dun mind everything but just to be with you....so sad until around 9 i got his msg telling me he cannot tok on the phone so i was totally ??? and sad also...but never give up hopes as i always hope for tomorrow....in the meantime i so lonely and scared of nite time so i broke my own promise and goal that i set to keep away from alcohol for the sake of my kor...i juz wan to be a good boy from the day i know him but today is exception...i was so scared to sleep now....i think the moment i can get to see my kor then i can able to sleep soundly.....i went to have a drink and ppl i knew keep giving me drinks because they didn't see me quite some time....last time i'm quite gd drinker but not till now as i promise to be good boi.....i think that is my maximum until now...had a screwdriver,flaming lamborgini,long island tea and vodka neat....plus some small little drinks....really got sabo by them but i promise never again touch those things already....i promise you kor that i will never touch alcohol anymore...only soft drinks for me.....i will continue to be the good boy from now onwards...wake up early,sleep early....dun drink alcoholic drinks....have healthy food ....last thing i should learn is overcome the fear of swimming...so i can next time swim with you.......i promise all these to you...trust me i will keep to my promise so will u also do the same keeping your promise to me?hope you still remember or else i will tell u again.....all i wish now is to be with you no matter how old you will be...even after my ns i will still wan you back...even i got myself a life partner i still wan u by my side....even i'm sick i still wan u....no matter how long u or i live juz hope to maintain always our relationship....i'm serious abt it also....i think after having so much strong drinks that give me the courage to write everything including confession....I at last writing this thing truthfully with no hidings to it anymore....i think everyone got his or her own rights to choose who is their life partner to be....dun look down on anyone.....pls friends out there dun keep away from me okay as i got no harm for u all as i'm stick to one person only.....

2004-06-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

Confession

I just dun wish to keep anyone i know in suspense anymore....the someone that i'm referring to is actually a guy....Being with a guy is not an offence so i hope to be able to keep all my current friends that reading my blog as friends forever....i believe in things that are forever.....I think i'm simply like my this guy too much...never had such an experience before as like i can totally rely on that person totally....I'm so tired now after working so many years and i need a very good rest and relaxation....hope my guy will give me his understanding and concern to it....let me intro him to my friends reading my blog...his name is roger and he is a person that is kind and thoughtful to me althought most of the time i have to accomodate to him...grateful that he is with me for 6 years....i really regret why i didn't meet him earlier as things would have happen differently....All i wish now is spend whatever time i have with him....i choose to resign my job also partially to be with him more time...I love the way he cares and concern for me as i have never felt it so much ever from anyone including my parents...but if roger,you r reading this day journal entry, just wan to let you know u r important to me as i can't find anything else that can makes me feel there is love or care to me already....although i still have to find my life partner as i know u can never can become my life partner but wish u can be my life supporter or a person i can turn to whenever i feel happy or sad....these few days of incident has made me realise that the importance of you.....every nite i been losing my sleep and appetite to eat...i even had bad dreams that make me wakes up in the middle of the nite and cries....and making me feeling so scared of nite time as i feel so lonely and helpless when the sun set....the warmth u give me really helps a lot....pls dun treat me so cold or ignore me anymore after seeing this blog...see i decided to say out abt u i know the position u placed in my heart already...i'm willing to tell everyone abt u becoz i feel it is time for me to say out already.....i dunno it is good or bad but juz wan to let u know u have overtaken the importance of my siblings already....I will still go for girls afterall for true relationship wise but just that I like to share some personal things with a guy which a girl cannot understands it...

2004-06-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

Just Another Day

Does my someone knows how much of my time is thinking of my someone? I think it has occupied most of time already....Today i still waiting aimlessly for the call by my someone...i did not dare to call my someone but yet I realy kind of worried and miss....where is my someone now doing? has my someone forgotten the promise made? I believe in my someone yet i totally in a lost for it now.....My hp is on through the day and no one call me...I was waiting for the call .....I was like every single night having bad dreams and everytime wake up my eyes will be filled with tears....The moment i wake up nowadays i been deeply in thought of everything in my life....What have i done wrong?...please i just want someone that i can count on and have the care and concern being given...that is what i lack of all the while...The feeling is always not there with any other people until i meet my someone......haiz........The power of Love is powerful.....

2004-06-14T21:09:00.000+08:00

Sad Day that goes again ***Disappointed***

Why my someone did not call me? I'm so worried for at home and yet not a single call from my someone....I'm totally scared as it is a promise yet did not fulfil.....i tried so hard to keep to my words and why like this....i been staying at home just to wait for the call until now...i been on my laptop on and ensuring my hp doesn't goes flat battery juz waiting for the golden call....i can say i lost my path of life already....I was so glad that it is monday already but yet to hear from my someone...i'm so worried when my someone recover from the operation then i fall sick....i think my gastric from bad to worse...seen a doc and gave me pills...my gastric now is like the moment i delay a bit on my consumption of food , my gastric will start to reacts liao...long time didn't have such a hard time already....i just wish that my someone is there to care for me.....haiz.....

2004-06-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

Waiting for This Day

I been waiting for this day to come...my someone is undergoing an operation now...I really wonder how is my someone already~!!!...out from the operation room and resting now or Still waiting to go into the operation room?....How dangerous is the operation I also don't know...haiz.....where is my someone now....very worried abt it but does my someone knows?

God will Always Bless you

2004-06-13T15:41:00.000+08:00

Life So Meaningless With Someone

3 days didn't put in my journal already.....haiz....life is so meaningless already....no friends no money no activities no mood and most of no someone....so many NOs' in my life already....kind of missing the days i have with my someone....since friday my whole body seems like running out of fuel already....so tired of life already.....turn around i sees nothing turn to my hp i sees nothing turn to tv all i sees is boring shows.....is that the life i wan???.....argh......kind of tedious to miss someone so badly....i able to get my appetite back but the mood is not there.....very lost now.....haiz....my head is having such a pain when keep thinking of my someone.....now i understand the feeling of being "Xiang Si Bing"Love sickness....today Sunday morning i really can't take it already so i send my someone a MMS hoping to get well soon...tomorrow is the actual day of operation be if i not admitted since yesterday....then in the afternoon recieve a call from my someone telling me can't view my mms because got no MMS function for the hp and laptop is not around.....haiz....so sad but still got the care to give me a call and tell me to take care.....I will be waiting for the call after the operation....hope to see my someone as soon as possible....all i can think of now is to be with my someone as long as possible and nothing else......hope i dun fall sick when he recovers....today i feel a bit drowsy sort....head is still at spinning mode....all i wish i can see my someone soon.....so many days i think i did all sorts of idiot things lor.....friday i went to orchard with my cousin to shop around for the coming wedding dinner clothes for myself...in end did not buy anything.....totally got no mood to buy anything at all....then saturday was cleaning the house thoroughly to keep myself occupied but in the end i causes myself overwork and vomit out all the food i taken in the morning.....head is so pain that i took panadol and went to sleep after finishing the chores....when wake up i was crying becoz i had a bad dream of things happening between me and my someone....i simply can't accept it.....is dreams normally happens when u r craving for that thing?......that is the end of my terrible saturday....sunday all i did was skipping my breakfast and gave my kids a gd bath....then afternoon i had slices of bread and went to get my kid's food changed as not suitable for him....haiz....
i think my rest of the day gonna be on missing my someone mode again...becoz there is no one else to keep me occupy....and then the house going to be empty again....
sis going outstation to thailand and my mum is helping out with my cousin's wedding so might not be at home most of the time.....haiz....boring lonely broke guy down here......waiting for my someone to save me out from this shit....argh.....

2004-06-11T10:36:00.000+08:00

A Beginning to Miss Everyone

Early in the morning 7am i recieve 3 msgs from ym friends telling me they are going Tekong today.....haiz......What a morning to start off......the day before i decided to stop msg or call my someone and the morning got msgs reminding me that i'm alone .....What a life to go on with....Now my whole life seem meaningless...yesterday i recieve 2 unsuccessful application for jobs because i unable to sign them 1 year contract...they wanted me to work with them but juz the time i can give them is not enough....one is the customer service trainer which i have to undergoes 2 months training...the other is frontline helpdesk support.....what a day.....then in the afternoon because mum is not around so have to go out in search for lunch....then i realise that maybe my ex-colleague might be free so i ask them out after work...one of them is feeling unwell so did not go and the other(Sharon) is free so we went to holland village to eat sushi which taste like hell.....the food are cold and the things doesn't seems to suit me....i was like feeling so down so eating has become a way to kill my time and forget everything so the order i placed like so much...filled up the whole table full of food and my ex-colleague was so stunned....then after the sushi we had haagen daz again...i was too full that i took a coffee while she took an ice-cream....wat a day...haiz.....after finish that lunch which almost 5 we both headed home....i feel that no matter how much i do i still cn't forget my someone in my mind....i feel that no one can replace the importance of my someone already...even my parents and sisters have to stand aside....maybe becoz i never felt so close even with my parents before....they are always busy with their own stuff and i have to find my own things to do....last time since primary sch i dun like to go home already becoz i find home is so cold and quiet to me......it is juz a shell for me to stay in .... i think my parents doesn't know what i wan....it is not the money but is the feeling....Money can never buy feelings,relationship or friendship.....that is what i like abt my someone...it is the concern being showered by and care i needed most....haiz.....why on earth there is a thing call money? can everyone juz earn enough to survive instead of asking for more and sacrifices some other thing? why everyone have greeds in their mind?
greeds for fame,wealth,status,etc.....has anyone thought before every form of greed u have actually have to sacrifice something in ur life?....haiz.....how come so early be in such a deep thought already.....

2004-06-09T22:21:00.000+08:00

after hanging those old places i been to with my someone, i have come to a solution to give both of us a break for a week....shit....while sending my someone the last msg, i'm having my gastric pill...shit..... so long my gastric has not come and now it happens...the last time happens due to the work and study stress and now purely love stress....today my gastric came back because i did not eat or drink for the whole day and then i was at the east side the moment i ended the journal earlier on....i can say i really got no appetite to eat....in the end when i got home at 9pm, i had my pills then took a slice of bread then cannot further on already....so sianz....wish my someone recover soon from the operation.......let me tell you where i goes today....i took a bus 30 all the way to bedok and took bus 17 to my someone place...i stay at the place for almost half an hour and i headed down to white sands....i was at white sands library giving a very thorough thought of what i should do....and then i follow down to tampines mall and look and see...that is the most memorable place i been with my someone so i took a stroll through the mall....then my decision has almost comes all up....through the journey i was listening to FIR album and a few songs actually hits me and made me cry in my heart....while taking the train back i give a final decision on what to say to my someone which is good for both of us....then the song replay back and made me break into a drip of tears in the train...i think the passenger beside got ??? why this guy got tears in his eyes....so embarrasing...i can say my tears dun come down easily but juz dunno why.....off to sleep now or else my gastric going to happen again.....dun worry my friends but i will try my best to recover my appetite....i will force myself to eat.....

2004-06-09T11:23:00.000+08:00

wat a disaster....all my friends out of sudden disappear.....i left with my someone only now....arh......then my someone also busy didn't bother to talk to me...i'm so lonely now....i cannot survive with no friends.....juz recieve a few calls from my friends telling me they are going in today so cannot go out liao.....arh.........save me .....called my ex-colleagues and they were so busy.....should i call my someone'm
why things are so bad....should i be letting go or not...but i really can't bear to let go as this support is my only pillar of my life left....my friends are gone and now the main pillar is seems like cracking.....got a call from my someone and wat a short talk....told me cannot meet up on friday and hang up my call...oh my god what is happening.....is there nothing much we can talk about now?....i'm a lost boy now....dunno what i'm doing already........arh.....help me....out of sudden this kind of call has make me turn round and round.....does that someone really know the importance of it in my heart now?..this is still a question....I totally lost of appetite already now....i haven take my lunch yet sooner or later if it continues sure my gastric will comes back....haiz...really got no appetite....now like a dead body lying down with my laptop on my lap......why like that.........**stressed**........trouble with love...why on earth there is love such thing?....if there is no love there will no people getting hurt and no one on earth commiting suicide already....

2004-06-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

One more Day to Go

Today is monday. as the same no appetite to eat much so had only a glass of milk last me through the day.....was hoping my someone would give me a call and my someone said doesn't want to reply my msg juz dun wan to distract me....haiz.....hmmmm....afternoon i went to orchard alone and staring into the blank for nothing...so bored to death....then when i'm withdrawing some cash to use, my someone called me and talk to me....felt so great that get to hear the voice but then no use as cannot see my someone...haiz...then i tooka bus to clementi to meet my friends to KTV again...they were having this session for them going into the NS one....the whole evening was in the room and i skip my dinner again then i cannot tahan until i bought mac and brought into the room to eat....so hungry but after eating the burger it fills my stomach liao....very save money hor....haiz what to do when lose appetite for missing someone...although i dun sing but i go there just to let my friends see my face as they always say gathering without me turning up one...this the day how it ends so meaningless......

Most important day

this day i have to go for my medical checkup and my someone promise to go along with me so the whole morning was with my someone while i'm doing my checkup....my doctor said my condition has turn better and just have to maintain it and i able to go into the NS to join in the troop soon....oh yesh....but scared i cannot see my someone so often if i get in....dun dare to tell my someone i'm hungry...at last seeing my someone brought back my appetite to eat but then my someone dun have habit of having lunch so i did not mention of having lunch with my someone but then my someone also very busy so what to do.....just dunno why the feeling is so comfortable when with someone u like/love.....hard to explain....the question was pop up by my someone which i dunno how to answer...."why you want to meet me so often?".....most of all is the feeling is there.....then after leaving my someone, i headed to town to have small little things done...getting my little kids their food...sourcing down where to buy them as the amt i wanted is quite huge....i started with simei pet safari but then they can't offer me good price and the quantity so i headed to bukit timah to buy when they left with the miserable few cartons...so i took everything delivered to my place....costing me $150 for just my kids food....broke liao....just can't wait for coming friday which i can meet my someone again....wish i can have more time with my someone this time round before my someone goes for the operation....half a month leh....so miserable for me.....day ended although short time spent with my someone but then at least can feel comfortable for the moment....all i wish the moments doesn't goes off so fast.....haiz....had my lunch at 5 with one of my sec. sch friend which happen to be going into ns coming thursday and was nearby where i am so we had together....left off around 6 but fill my stomach quite full as my appetite was open up at the moment....had a bowl of noodle with a soup and then one bubble tea plus a bit of snacks....great....my friend got shock with my appetite also...hahahaha....wish to have dinner with my someone one of these days....this my wish...

2004-06-07T10:52:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.....another weekend to go SUNDAY.....it is still okay for me but just the feeling of missing someone in your life the feeling is terrible...it just like losing of one energy in your body and makes everything looks meaningless to you......and plus i'm thoroughly lonely during the daytime....i tried so hard not to msg my someone today but i just can't help it so i msg but then got no reply from my someone so my energy are so drained....i'm laying down on the bed doesn't wish to move at all and is just like a hospital person laying on the bed with no visitors switching the tv channel here and there....so bored to death......it is killing me.....my someone is going for an operation soon and i going to miss my someone as i unable to call or sms my someone...what another half a month to survive through....throughout i only had 2 slice of bread with quite few glasses of milk....really lack of appetite to eat already.....comes to dinner at least slightly get to force myself to eat half a bowl of rice at my grandma place.....then out of sudden craving for something cold so went to holland village for haagen daz ice-cream together with my going to get marry cousin....she was like to munch small little things so she tag along to have desserts....then went to her place to copy some cds so ended up quite late then reach home but i still misses my someone although it has been a day....haiz....where all my friends gone to? they were kidnapped by the government left me alone outside and i can only depend so much on my someone to be my closest person already...hopefully my someone can understand what i mean.....

2004-06-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today is a day where i tried very hard myself from calling or msg my someone....hmmm....kind of hard to stop thinking of someone you like of...then the whole morning was fiddling with my hp whether to msg or not but scared to cause my someone any trouble so i decided not to.....let my someone quiet for a while as i can see coming tuesday already....weee......so happy....can't wait for this day to come....then afternoon i went to town area and had lunch with my cousin....i restrict myself from using my hp so i left my hp with my cousin which i dun able to access easily....i treat her to NYDC and we had pasta and mudpies as dessert....what an enjoyment......then after the meal we went to takashimaya to walk walk....we was in the walt disney hall and she bought glasses while i saw those stickers to decorate the toilet bowl and bought quite a few to design it.....so cute with mickey and pooh pictures....then we had quite a no. of small snacks...we had pretzel bread and cheese sticks to eat while we shop lor....although we got nothing yet quite happy as looking for nice clothes to attend her comign wedding....decided on that suit but cost me $300 total....kind of not worth to buy it becoz juz wear once unless i can get to attend more wedding dinner including my own...hahaha.......so all these we ended going back for dinner at ...on the way back on the car we had takoyaki again for snacks lor....when got home was a bit full for dinner so delay till 9 then had the dinner....the day juz ended like that and when i got my hp back i realise there is just a missed call from my someone but when i realise was kind of late so i cannot call back as i know my someone sleep early one...so good nite everyone.....my day seems to be pampering too much liao.....juz the mood is not there much enjoy.....becoz i get to talk to my someone yesterday so feeling better and able to have better appetite liao....siao right me....

2004-06-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

all i can say i been writing my blog of my every single day how i feel....can say this week is my low week...this morning quite impressed that i woke up at 9am...becoz i slept at 3am so juz nice 6 hours of sleep and auto awake system is on....i had a glass of nutrisoy bean milk which i bought yesterday from 7-11...reading through newspaper and having slices of bread with jam....hmmm....i think my breakfast will be sticking to strictly only jam and bread already as i wan to be a good boy dun wan to take too heavy breakfast....oh yah....today my mood slightly better as my someone actually initiate to meet me but then i cannot as the time is too rush already so i said next week then.....i really dunno what my someone is thinking...i feel my someone so concern towards me regarding things i written in my blog....haiz....all i can say i'm so down in terms of mood during these period of days when i dun get to see u but juz hoping you can understand it...then after that short conversation i was like a bit better in my mood already and had something for lunch....out of nowhere my mum back from the market got me lunch already and guess wat...she got me a packet of chicken rice....haiz....that rice makes me misses my someone so much...such a coincidence....i and my someone had chicken rice as lunch twice and makes me remember deeply as something special happens everytime after eating it....wat to do and juz to resign to fate.....then the whole i was at home trying to make myself busy then again i was doing household lor...wat a free maid for my mum...then comes the evening i took my dinner quite early and decided to retreat to my relaxing time early....i do a bit of gardening at my corridor and then clean the floor outside...then it is time for me to come in and write my blog while i enjoying my cup of flower tea to keep me stress-free world...haha...everyone muz be saying this guy enjoying his life rite but i gonna start off my fighting spirit back soon...maybe next week my mood will be better after seeing my someone.....just kind of worried for my someone as my someone going for an operation on mid of june...somehow gonna miss u but hope i can visit u during ur stay in hospital.....hope everything goes smoothly and all the best to you and speedy recovery....God will look after you...whenever there is hopes there is a chances to it...I'm going to sleep soon....hope tomorrow is a gd day to start off...

2004-06-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

today i woke up slightly late but the day was filled with things to do....in the morning i was helping out one of my friend shop...so easy as nothing much to do but to surf net in the shop....hahaha.....then i only stay till 12pm as becoz there will someone to take over the duties...so i left the shop and headed back home....the whole morning my someone tried to get hold of me but i was unable to as when the timing my someone called is when there is a customer around.....so i reject the call...i spent the whole afternoon doing nothing outside at coffee house....before that i had lunch with one fo my sec. sch friend and he has to get busy with his own stuff so i'm alone and headed to coffee house for my lost mind....haiz....around 5+ i reach i recieve the call from my someone and after that i felt so bored and lonely as the house are still empty so i went for a movie alone...watched harry potter at Jurong Point GV screening at 9.30pm and halfway through the show i fell asleep as it is damn boring ...i can give a bad rating compare to the first and second one i watched....i just want to let my someone know that ever since i decided to meet you i already start to pin my hopes on you to be my main support for me as i been a loner for so long...i started work since i'm 14 and ever since i was born to be workaholic....i work so hard no matter where i land my feet on whichever company......imagine a young boy when reach 16 already at a level higher than anyone....been working in the world for 7 years and kind of tired of it already....

2004-06-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

I seems like can't change my habit of waking up already....I really dun dare to think of my someone but i still can't help it....sadly heart is crying but have to act brave in front of everyone....today is Vesak Day so decided to go for vegetarian day. morning i standard now having bread and jam plus cup of home-brewed coffee ....went down to get newspaper as early as 7am and i was reading newspaper and drinking but i simply can't help thinking of my someone so i msg my someone....i think i did something really wrong for my someone but then i feel so guilty the whole morning and since then i dun dare to msg my someone already ....today will be the 5th day of not seeing my someone....yesterday i was telling my friend not to worry abt such thing but me myself actually facing such problem....i think i really like my zodiac character as i hide in my room through nite yesterday...i was quietly crying but no ones know abt it....why i'm feeling that low....then this holiday morning is no different from other days...i'm left alone in the house throughout all the day till dinner time then got a small vegetarian dinner....whole afternoon i was like a house-man cleaning the curtains in my living room,vacuum the floor and mop the floor....most of all i bought new small fishes...when buying , it reminds me of those times that i had with my someone seeing fishes and buying things....haiz....why like then i decided to msg back to aplogize....i telling my someone that i actually facing family pressure....not much ppl understand what i'm facing now....all i wish to do now is hide and build my confidence again....i'm so weak at emotion side....i really worried that if i fall in love again and then something actually happens and break off...i might cannot take it anymore and dun blame me for commiting suicide...never knows what will happen....haiz.....stress stress stress....pls my someone dun blaME to become sticky towards you but i really can't help it as i'm so tired and need a good support first....all i wish to is lay on you for the moment and get back energy and i'm sure to be less sticky to u after that......i juz hoping u will understand what i mean to my someone....if u wan to know juz talk to me someday i will reveal the truth to u

2004-06-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

same here for today i woke up 5.30am....so early as every day i'm hoping to see my someone....never expect what a bad news to me at 9am....my someone told me that today cannot meet me....do u know i really miss you....i feel so empty the moment u said u cannot meet me....my heart is crying although guys shouldn't cry so i'm crying inside my heart....pls dun always keep telling me that dun waste time on you but i know what i'm doing....i just want to spend my precious time with you....dun forget your promise to me that never hurt me emotionally okay...i told you before...then after the call i really very lost and ask one of my ex-colleague(lay tien) out for a lunch as i really feeling very low....we went to nooch noodle bar to eat and had thai dishes....not bad as the lunch also we paid on dutch....then we walk through the orchard from wheelock to plaza singapura as i really feel very lost....then i headed down to KTV Cha Xuan to meet up my friends for my friend's birthday party as i seldom goes one so they quite shock i turn so i was like sitting down there staring into the blank as i'm not into drinking already and i drank a cup of fruit punch that's all....sad to say this event i paid for them as it is a treat for the birthday boy....haiz....dunno why i get bully so easily...why should i listen to them to pay then i just give my debit card to the counter and sign.....sigh.....i'm jus so lost and dunno what i'm doing....my someone ignore my msg through the rest of my day....i think my someone has turn into my support as i have never fall for someone so deeply before...tell me what to do....

2004-05-31T22:16:00.000+08:00

it is a sad day for me......actually i woke up 5am this morning and i do nothing juz waiting for my someone to msg me to meet up....i been waiting and waiting until my head is killing me....having a bad headache.....then around 7am i recieve a msg telling me not to msg or call my someone until my someone is free then call me....after that msg i really totally the mood goes all the way down to zero....so depressed at the moment like my day ends just like that but then i still have to listen to my someone advice to save money so i went to deposit half of my salary into another bank....can say the other bank got a no. of money liao....i can say my someone power really great....i does a lot of changes all because of my someone.......then afternoon i was all the while in east lingering but do not dare to call my someone as i scared my someone scolds me for breaking the morning msg so i bear with although my heart already flew to that person place already......then i spent my day lingering at east side then got home around 4+pm....now i'm still desperately waiting for the call from my someone then i thought my someone totally forgotten me and then this call rangs.....so touch that my someone call but then still misses my someone.....how i wish can turn it right in front of me now....through the weekends did not see my someone i been dreaming of my someone being with....all i wan now is hug hug and kiss kiss from my someone.....now going to bed liao....have to be good boi...sleep early wake up early

2004-05-31T22:15:00.000+08:00

CANCER MAN

The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac. Most
Artists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the "Moon" and the moon change it's shape daily, so Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the time too. You will confuse with him and yet it is his constantly changes that "Charm" you. He never go to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not loose it, except if he get tired of it by himself.
The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what other
people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to over
protected himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.
Gifted, creative, imaginative, is Cancer. A mystery and complexity play a
major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very quiet,
suddenly very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will
not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you
have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored.
He thinks of his home as "nest" and it is the safest place for him. If he
feels hurt or depress he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels
better, he will come out of his retreat and lives normally again. Being a
looser is not him.
It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a very
polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He will come
out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening himself up to
other people much. Not many people will win his heart. His security is only
when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he might think of having a happy family. Even he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so he will be happy to spent money to take you out to a very expensive restaurant or buy a jewelry for you. Certainly when he has money OK.
He is possessive to everything's that he thinks belong to him. Don't try to
talk to another cute guy in front of him, he will get suspicion because he
is not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition.
Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he thinks you are the true love for him, and you try once to disappear. You will be sure he will come and look for you.
He is a shy guy, but if he likes you. You can get up in the morning and see
that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a very
persistent guy.
He likes a secure, cheerful and lively woman, confident but at the same time always act proper and appropriate. He likes a secure woman, but able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type to find woman indeed.
In the beginning, you and him will be so sugary sweet together and he will
only think of you. This so "super romantic" will not last forever, so don't
slip this chance. If you are the one who want his interest, then act and
make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him compliment
sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere.
Unlike many other Zodiac, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial _expression are enough. He loves his mother, so try to be his mother favorite, but do not act like his mother!

Quite true to me

2004-05-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

I love you
Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your boy
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world
I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me
And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself being your man
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
Smetimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side
Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you
Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love

hoping my someone will understand it

2004-05-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

i always hate the weekends......on saturday all i did was nothing........so bored when my someone can't be with me....standard weekends are busy for that person while i'm at home rotting....the whole morning i msg that person but i didn't even got a single reply from that person until evening time....in the morning after my simple breakfast, i do the cleaning for my koi tank and then do a bit of here and there cleaning...then it comes to afternoon....damn it still waiting for the reply from my someone but then no reply and i decided to go down to CS KAP to see my friends working there....kind of miss them but then when i got into the store the feeling never goes away from me....all the sudden the sianz... feeling strikes me.....oh my god why it still happens to me when i already quit the job already...i wish the weekend just pass off like this because i seems that people around me including my parents got more things to do than me when last time i got more things to do than them......pls to my someone....ur coldness towards me makes me shivers and scared....now i can feel the loneliness....when i got home the house was like so dark as there is no one at home....i hide myself in the room and blast my room with new age music...i had a slice of bread for my dinner and when comes like 9+ i made a flask of flower tea to make myself relax by the smell and good for my blood circulation...advise by my doc becoz i can get easily tense up person....with those help i fell asleep at 10+ and then i woke up the next morning at 7....i saw my hp with my someone msg at 12.30am when i already sleep...the msg telling me good nite things like this but then i remember my someone never sleep so late one....haiz....at least we had a small msg conference in the sunday morning which made me to feel the warmth by someone...again this sunday morning i'm totally alone again....parents went out since morning and then sister have appointment with her friends...why like that...it goes for my sunday with no one accompany me again.....at least a little which i foudn it on my someone.....this person is so important to me now.....dunno what will happen if i goes to ns...

2004-05-29T06:32:00.000+08:00

what a day for me for friday.......it is the best day i ever had....i feel so happy inside my heart but then although nothing much we do this day.....i meet my someone very early this day.....it is like 10am... then we headed to help my someone clean the fish tank...we spent the whole morning cleaning the fish tank which is so smelly....then it comes afternoon...we headed to fish farm to get a good internal filter to help the fish tank function better....so getting all these things takes almost the whole day and off we go to watch the movie"the day after tomorrow" screening 4.10 at tampines....this is the first movie i watch with my someone....so memorable although the show is not that fantastic as i thought should be impressive....becoz the cinema is so crowded so nothing much i can do as i wish something could happen....hahaha.....my someone if u r seeing my journal can u please tell me do u love me as much as i do for u?i just simply can't open my mouth to tell u this words but i just want to know how u feel towards me.....after the show we headed home and on my waY HOME i was asked to join in for shopping for my newly wed couples.....so much to do for the preparation....although i'm not the one getting married but i can feel it is so tiring.....next time if i wan to hold a wedding surely hold a simple type no wedding dinner....then my day ends so late around 10+...so tired....now i'm totally very good boy already....sleep early and wake up early habit liao.....see my someone got influence by u already

2004-05-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

hmmmm...it is so fast another day already but yet today is can be simple to me but then quite meaningful.....morning i went for a short interview with swissotel for the position of frontline helpdesk...it was like a very short interview which i walk in and they quite interested with my application but then i rejected it due to the working hours....then i was using my laptop surfing net with my wireless card on my laptop and then talking to my someone ....i can say my someone doesn't know the interview i went as i didn't say so as i rejected most of the jobs i went for interview due to either of the commitment require or the job a bit boring....i can say until now i went for total of 3 interviews and all rejected....so sad that my someone is sick today which made me so worried as look so fragile person.....haiz.....this afternoon i spent the time with my niece shopping the fashion for her coming wedding...she need a pair of slivery high heels shoe to go along with her wedding gown....i didn't know my taste can so good until i try so hard to imagine her wedding gown to go along with the shoe based on my imagination....so tiring for my brain as i dun know how it look like as i miss the session trial yesterday....so we even shop for her going-to-be-husband a strip shirt to go along with the suit....wah so tiring as my ideas running out as i still have to keep imagining how it look like when wear on them....trying so hard to give the best...hoping they will like the outcome as this sunday they having their studio shoots with the shoes and shirts bought today....in the end, they spent like few hundreds on the things and i'm controlling myself as i'm not the main role for today purpose......we got back home like around 11+ very late and now logging off to sleep already....nite nite....not forgetting my someone called me up during the trip...so sweet to hear the voice when i didn't hear it for half a day already....shit i'm in crush already....

2004-05-26T20:48:00.000+08:00

hahaha....talking abt these things i forgotten that the loving beauty side of me to include in my wishlist....becoz recently i got the call from expression man to ask me for face consultant and get a free sampling package....so broke now so cannot try facial....hahaha....very vain of me rite....

my 21st birthday is approaching....my wishlist will be....
1)Digital multi-function camcorder
2)A Real Man watch for my NS use...
3)PS2
4)Wallet
5)Bag for multi-purpose
6)a few suits of beach wear for my outdoor crave
7)someone i like to share things with.....
8)Facial package for lightening my pimple scar and plus lasering off my mole
9)Perfumes

2004-05-26T20:23:00.000+08:00

it seems like my everyday is filled with stuff to do although i'm bored of it....
i'm trying hard to keep myself occupy....okay now i shall write a journal for today.....
this morning i got a msg that i can meet my someone after 11am so i went all the way anxiously to the meeting point with my someone.....then my day juz started with a slice of bread with strawberry jam....with a home brew coffee.....off i go to meet my someone and then we were trying out the configuration for the network problems but it seems like nothing happening when i'm around.....then we proceed on to shopping mall to try out before we had our lunch at simei....then everything is like going smoothly....we were headin to food court and this someone told me that not going to eat but because he saw me buying food so also got hungry....he was surprise by me buying a Glutinous Rice as can fill my stomach while got nasi padang for ....
after that i headed to changi airport to take a breath and see wat beautiful pictures i can take but in the end got nothing as it start to rain and the scenery is ugly with raindrops.....so sad as most shops under renovation so i headed but home at 4+....through the journey i sleep throughout from tanah merah to lakeside and it is still drizzling.....when i reach is like 5+ already and i was so tired when i got home....that is program for the day although not fruitful but able to be with my someone i'm glad enough....juz can't wait for this friday event...hoping a big surprise from my someone