Your profile here, you could add your own display picture in place of that.
Your loves, hates, wishlist. Show some attitude, cast an impression on others and be cool. For once, it doesn't matter if you are arrogant or proud cause it's your blog.

it is a sad day for me......actually i woke up 5am this morning and i do nothing juz waiting for my someone to msg me to meet up....i been waiting and waiting until my head is killing me....having a bad headache.....then around 7am i recieve a msg telling me not to msg or call my someone until my someone is free then call me....after that msg i really totally the mood goes all the way down to zero....so depressed at the moment like my day ends just like that but then i still have to listen to my someone advice to save money so i went to deposit half of my salary into another bank....can say the other bank got a no. of money liao....i can say my someone power really great....i does a lot of changes all because of my someone.......then afternoon i was all the while in east lingering but do not dare to call my someone as i scared my someone scolds me for breaking the morning msg so i bear with although my heart already flew to that person place already......then i spent my day lingering at east side then got home around 4+pm....now i'm still desperately waiting for the call from my someone then i thought my someone totally forgotten me and then this call rangs.....so touch that my someone call but then still misses my someone.....how i wish can turn it right in front of me now....through the weekends did not see my someone i been dreaming of my someone being with....all i wan now is hug hug and kiss kiss from my someone.....now going to bed liao....have to be good boi...sleep early wake up early

CANCER MAN

The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac. Most
Artists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the "Moon" and the moon change it's shape daily, so Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the time too. You will confuse with him and yet it is his constantly changes that "Charm" you. He never go to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not loose it, except if he get tired of it by himself.
The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what other
people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to over
protected himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.
Gifted, creative, imaginative, is Cancer. A mystery and complexity play a
major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very quiet,
suddenly very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will
not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you
have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored.
He thinks of his home as "nest" and it is the safest place for him. If he
feels hurt or depress he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels
better, he will come out of his retreat and lives normally again. Being a
looser is not him.
It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a very
polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He will come
out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening himself up to
other people much. Not many people will win his heart. His security is only
when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he might think of having a happy family. Even he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so he will be happy to spent money to take you out to a very expensive restaurant or buy a jewelry for you. Certainly when he has money OK.
He is possessive to everything's that he thinks belong to him. Don't try to
talk to another cute guy in front of him, he will get suspicion because he
is not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition.
Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he thinks you are the true love for him, and you try once to disappear. You will be sure he will come and look for you.
He is a shy guy, but if he likes you. You can get up in the morning and see
that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a very
persistent guy.
He likes a secure, cheerful and lively woman, confident but at the same time always act proper and appropriate. He likes a secure woman, but able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type to find woman indeed.
In the beginning, you and him will be so sugary sweet together and he will
only think of you. This so "super romantic" will not last forever, so don't
slip this chance. If you are the one who want his interest, then act and
make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him compliment
sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere.
Unlike many other Zodiac, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial _expression are enough. He loves his mother, so try to be his mother favorite, but do not act like his mother!


Quite true to me

I love you
Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your boy
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world
I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me
And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself being your man
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
Smetimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side
Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you
Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love


hoping my someone will understand it

i always hate the weekends......on saturday all i did was nothing........so bored when my someone can't be with me....standard weekends are busy for that person while i'm at home rotting....the whole morning i msg that person but i didn't even got a single reply from that person until evening time....in the morning after my simple breakfast, i do the cleaning for my koi tank and then do a bit of here and there cleaning...then it comes to afternoon....damn it still waiting for the reply from my someone but then no reply and i decided to go down to CS KAP to see my friends working there....kind of miss them but then when i got into the store the feeling never goes away from me....all the sudden the sianz... feeling strikes me.....oh my god why it still happens to me when i already quit the job already...i wish the weekend just pass off like this because i seems that people around me including my parents got more things to do than me when last time i got more things to do than them......pls to my someone....ur coldness towards me makes me shivers and scared....now i can feel the loneliness....when i got home the house was like so dark as there is no one at home....i hide myself in the room and blast my room with new age music...i had a slice of bread for my dinner and when comes like 9+ i made a flask of flower tea to make myself relax by the smell and good for my blood circulation...advise by my doc becoz i can get easily tense up person....with those help i fell asleep at 10+ and then i woke up the next morning at 7....i saw my hp with my someone msg at 12.30am when i already sleep...the msg telling me good nite things like this but then i remember my someone never sleep so late one....haiz....at least we had a small msg conference in the sunday morning which made me to feel the warmth by someone...again this sunday morning i'm totally alone again....parents went out since morning and then sister have appointment with her friends...why like that...it goes for my sunday with no one accompany me again.....at least a little which i foudn it on my someone.....this person is so important to me now.....dunno what will happen if i goes to ns...

what a day for me for friday.......it is the best day i ever had....i feel so happy inside my heart but then although nothing much we do this day.....i meet my someone very early this day.....it is like 10am... then we headed to help my someone clean the fish tank...we spent the whole morning cleaning the fish tank which is so smelly....then it comes afternoon...we headed to fish farm to get a good internal filter to help the fish tank function better....so getting all these things takes almost the whole day and off we go to watch the movie"the day after tomorrow" screening 4.10 at tampines....this is the first movie i watch with my someone....so memorable although the show is not that fantastic as i thought should be impressive....becoz the cinema is so crowded so nothing much i can do as i wish something could happen....hahaha.....my someone if u r seeing my journal can u please tell me do u love me as much as i do for u?i just simply can't open my mouth to tell u this words but i just want to know how u feel towards me.....after the show we headed home and on my waY HOME i was asked to join in for shopping for my newly wed couples.....so much to do for the preparation....although i'm not the one getting married but i can feel it is so tiring.....next time if i wan to hold a wedding surely hold a simple type no wedding dinner....then my day ends so late around 10+...so tired....now i'm totally very good boy already....sleep early and wake up early habit liao.....see my someone got influence by u already

hmmmm...it is so fast another day already but yet today is can be simple to me but then quite meaningful.....morning i went for a short interview with swissotel for the position of frontline helpdesk...it was like a very short interview which i walk in and they quite interested with my application but then i rejected it due to the working hours....then i was using my laptop surfing net with my wireless card on my laptop and then talking to my someone ....i can say my someone doesn't know the interview i went as i didn't say so as i rejected most of the jobs i went for interview due to either of the commitment require or the job a bit boring....i can say until now i went for total of 3 interviews and all rejected....so sad that my someone is sick today which made me so worried as look so fragile person.....haiz.....this afternoon i spent the time with my niece shopping the fashion for her coming wedding...she need a pair of slivery high heels shoe to go along with her wedding gown....i didn't know my taste can so good until i try so hard to imagine her wedding gown to go along with the shoe based on my imagination....so tiring for my brain as i dun know how it look like as i miss the session trial yesterday....so we even shop for her going-to-be-husband a strip shirt to go along with the suit....wah so tiring as my ideas running out as i still have to keep imagining how it look like when wear on them....trying so hard to give the best...hoping they will like the outcome as this sunday they having their studio shoots with the shoes and shirts bought today....in the end, they spent like few hundreds on the things and i'm controlling myself as i'm not the main role for today purpose......we got back home like around 11+ very late and now logging off to sleep already....nite nite....not forgetting my someone called me up during the trip...so sweet to hear the voice when i didn't hear it for half a day already....shit i'm in crush already....

hahaha....talking abt these things i forgotten that the loving beauty side of me to include in my wishlist....becoz recently i got the call from expression man to ask me for face consultant and get a free sampling package....so broke now so cannot try facial....hahaha....very vain of me rite....


my 21st birthday is approaching....my wishlist will be....
1)Digital multi-function camcorder
2)A Real Man watch for my NS use...
3)PS2
4)Wallet
5)Bag for multi-purpose
6)a few suits of beach wear for my outdoor crave
7)someone i like to share things with.....
8)Facial package for lightening my pimple scar and plus lasering off my mole
9)Perfumes

it seems like my everyday is filled with stuff to do although i'm bored of it....
i'm trying hard to keep myself occupy....okay now i shall write a journal for today.....
this morning i got a msg that i can meet my someone after 11am so i went all the way anxiously to the meeting point with my someone.....then my day juz started with a slice of bread with strawberry jam....with a home brew coffee.....off i go to meet my someone and then we were trying out the configuration for the network problems but it seems like nothing happening when i'm around.....then we proceed on to shopping mall to try out before we had our lunch at simei....then everything is like going smoothly....we were headin to food court and this someone told me that not going to eat but because he saw me buying food so also got hungry....he was surprise by me buying a Glutinous Rice as can fill my stomach while got nasi padang for ....
after that i headed to changi airport to take a breath and see wat beautiful pictures i can take but in the end got nothing as it start to rain and the scenery is ugly with raindrops.....so sad as most shops under renovation so i headed but home at 4+....through the journey i sleep throughout from tanah merah to lakeside and it is still drizzling.....when i reach is like 5+ already and i was so tired when i got home....that is program for the day although not fruitful but able to be with my someone i'm glad enough....juz can't wait for this friday event...hoping a big surprise from my someone

Today i got nothing much to write as i'm so bored at home....morning i had a simple breakfast which taught by my someone.....a simple home brewed coffee plus a slice of bread with strawberry jam....i'm totally for my someone already....through the morning i read my books related to engineering computing and a bit of flash programming but then got so mad of it becoz my engineering programs doesn't works after understanding in the books for 2 hours plus.....i almost got crazy over it because i got this barrier for computer language memorising....it is so tough until i gave up for the day until i find someone to eleborate further.....then this time my someone log into icq and we chat through the lunch hours....juz can't wait for this coming friday...i'm going to watch the movie" the day after tomorrow" with my someone......can say this is our first movie we watch ever been together 2 months....so fast already....sorry to say to my someone i promise to call u at 1.30pm but i forgot because i'm busying baking cakes....normally i start to do my baking only when i really happy and wan to enjoy with my someone special to me in my heart....i still remember last time during my sec. sch days....all my friends always envy the girl that i'm going after as i would bake all kinds of cakes to please her but in the end failed to do so as she told me a stupid reason that she is not suitable for me after going after her for so many months....wasted all my efforts and breaks my heart ever since...she has changed my life ever since as i decided not to spend any efforts for any girls anymore ...or else i hit another nail then how?
but to my present life, i think i have found someone special to replace the emptiness in my heart already....whee.......at last i can find someone to cuddle into now....so comfortable when get to cuddle onto someone arms...now i know why lovers like to hug one another....night reach again.....i feel so lonely back again....why like that....my parents and sis they all busy with stuff at nite one....damn it i'm alone again....wish i never at home as the feeling alone is so terrible....i trying to keep myself occupy by writing this day journal.....i can say today what i did somehow brought me back memories to the early days i been through.....hmmmmmm...somehow like my age of 14-15 timeline.....
next time i write more abt my past....

hmmm......here comes the monday blues....i'm suffering from it although i'm not working....early in the morning i went for a early jogging for healthy life then when i got home i take a western breakfast cook by myself and here comes my someone called me up to check whether am i free to help out to fix the laptop for the connection as i'm sharing it with this someone....as i said i'm willing to share everything with this someone....then the whole morning just gone like that...in the afternoon i was at the east side doing nothing as my someone has things to busy with....i was so tired carrying my laptop around with me then i was touring around serangoon taking a bus and realise there is a place like holland village in serangoon....not bad but then i reach my toa payoh which suppose to be heading to...was at that area for 2+hours then so tired of it...my someone didn't even bother to call me up concern for me....so sad.....but maybe he is busy with his work....i next time must plan where to go after meeting my someone...or else sure ended up with headless direction but headless sense of direction i somehow used to it already......when i got home then i knew that my home will be empty through the nite as my parents and sis went to wedding dinner ......wah....they are so busy when i start to stop work but when i'm working they are all like so free.....so sianz....that is the end of my day....there is some minor things happen during my trip to toa payoh but not worth mentioning

got snap at chalet bed 

chalet 

hey the weekends juz pass by with a glimspe of eyes.....although cannot see that person during weekends but then always in my mind lor.....tried to sms that person but in the end got replied only once on saturday morning and then sunday evening....i understand why that person can't reply i do forgive but my mind seems to have the image of that person appearing in my mind when that smells i got from that person's body appear....i think i start to have deep feelings for that person but just dunno how to express....worries worries worries.....a lot of things come into my mind when i start thinking to tell that person how deep is my feeling for that person....nvm but just let natures takes place.......

these 2 days been happening things to keep me very busy.....saturday is my long time that i never whip up a feast for 15 ppl...imagine like "man han quan xi"....total of 4 cooked dishes and a lot of raw foods meant for steamboat.....i woke up early in the mornign to be a good boy to do morning marketing for the fresh stuffs....damn it...again that wet floor to step in again and squeeze with the crowds....i cooked deep fried prawns, boiled lady fingers, curry flower crabs,pan fried dou gan and also not forgetting eggs with sliverfish will be the cooked stuff....then the steamboat things is filling up so much till the table cannot put the rice bowls to eat for rice......i promise it is a real feast lor.....ever thought of a cake is to enjoy as a dessert but too tired by the time i ended everything...my grandma was praising me through the nite and made me fly so high...she said whoever married to me is so fortunate as i can cook but then i have never came across my mind of marrying although i keep saying i wan kids...i do wan kids but then dun wan the marriage commitment....haiz......then my going to married niece is like so envy me for being such a house husband....the whole family not much guys know how to cook except for me...even younger generations also dunno how to cook for gals....haiz.....sad to say but true lor....then the dinner is ended with 2 bags of durians and baskets of lychees....whow.....real sumptous meal that made me the following day doesn't wan anything for meals during lunch and dinner....then cannot tahan during the afternoon due to my gastric pain so have to take a small piece of cake as i was outside so i saw this cake so nice and enjoy it with my going-to marry niece...we went out shopping for my someone's wireless card as i going to share my a/c with this person...i always remember what i promise okay....dun say i dun care for u....i do care but my money dun allow me to.....sunday is just pass like that helping my someone to buy wireless card and then my mum was back from her trip to vietnam ...nagging is back to the house again...haiz.....then again i skip my dinner then not long my gastric is back again so quickly i went downstairs to get a bread to eat....i sleep quite early but then woke up not long by a msg from my someone....so surprise that it actually msg me but then too tired to reply liao....

all i wish i can spend as much time with my someone as long as possible.....

my 21st birthday is approaching....my wish present will be....
1)Digital multi-function camcorder
2)A Real Man watch for my NS use...
3)PS2
4)Wallet
5)Bag for multi-purpose
6)a few suits of beach wear for my outdoor crave
7)someone i like to share things with.....

my wish presents might be expensive but it is just a wishful thinking...dunno when i can get it personally as my parents doesn't know what i want actually....so sad....
all i can think is best to have someone to share that day personally with me as i long time didn't celebrate birthdya with close one already...

hmmmm......very fast today is already friday.....i'm glad i at last survive through the week as the someone spend most of the time with me.. but i also tried very hard to accomodate to the time the person has....let me start off with things that happen on wednesday....this week should be a fruitful week as a lot of things happens....on wed, i'm simply living on a casual and enjoying life....imagine a guy drinking coffee,having pastry and using laptop surfing the net.....wow.....never had that kind of life before juz short of a companion to share with me.....haiz......then after that i took a train back from choa chu kang all the way to jurong ....real long journey back home.....so tiring but never mind....things that is leaving sweet memories worth anything.....long time having do any sacrifices for someone already so never mind....that is the end of my day and when i got home again the house is filled with warm empty air....so warm and crisp feeling in the air....i sleep quite early this day as the following day i'm going into malaysia with my working friends(laytien,germaine,shini and huijun) which i realise last min i'm the only guy going with them......

thursday is here.........we actually meet at 11am but then been change to 11.30 as the girls can't make it....dunno why lah but expected....
when they told me abt the time change i was already on my way so when i reach was like too early then i hang around CS while talking to my someone....quite touched that still concern for me....now let me talk on the journey to malaysia.....before i start, in the morning huijun's father call me up juz to ensure his daughter is safe going into malaysia with us.....
we got in like around 12+ and start our first stop at pelangi....we had our lunch and as girls u all know what is their favourite hobbies which is shopping....they went into almost every store they sees and sad for me as most of the shops caters purely for girls so i have to stand outside the shop like their bodyguards....when the shop sells partly for guys then i will hop in and take a look but seems like too trendy or ah beng for me already....after pelangi we headed to holiday plaza....and here it comes again target is shopping for the girls...imagine the whole plaza is so huge with small shops selling clothes for girls and guys but guys will be more for ah beng type....so out of the question.....we were at that place for 2 hours plus and imagine i'm purely standing there waiting for them at the shop exit or entrance.....then before we leave the i saw this very unique coca cola lamp that hits my eyes when pass this shop display at a very shabby showcase....i think it is fated for me to buy it so it hits my eyes just like that so i bought it....i think i got something in the end while the girls walk so much shops and yet to see something they like or maybe they are too broke to buy.......
after this we went to duty free zone to shop but then although a bit classy looks but nothing much to see..they got cheap beers and wines but no point when we dun wish to get drunk in malaysia....they took quite a no. of pics using hp and then was like busy sending here and there....that place wasn't that rewarding enough so we headed for our dinner around 6+ at sentosa... i can't imagine thaT 5 small girls can eat so much....purely on food itself we spent RM$140 already....horrible rite? Stingray,sotong,prawns,crabs,chicken wings,fried youtiao,2 plates of mantou,hotplate tofu and also a vege......wah....sounds like a big feast rite but then we manage to finish them like only 1-2 hours only...dun forget i'm so full that i didn't need to have any rice.....really scared that can't finish the foods..aftre this, everyone was feeling so heavy that stomach going to burst....oh good....we headed to the shopping mall near the custom named city square....we walk around for an hour and off we go back to sg....not to forget we took neoprints at malaysia as a group photo...funny rite but crazy ideas from me ....can say the day ends half satisfied and half unsatisfied....hoping next time the shops in malaysia please kindly open it meant for both sexes so that their guys' friend doesn't get bored when tehir doing their shopping...maybe cannot blame them partly i got quite a limited money also....so the mood for shopping is not there also.....when i reach sg was so tired and something happen to one of children (my dog).he has accompany for so many years and out of sudden suffering from heart failure so sent him to doc immediately....got so scared out of wits the moment i got the call from my dad and rush home by cab...when i got home my dad already send him to the hospital so everything calms down when i reach home....around 1+am i got the call that he is alrite already but i was so tired didn't bothers to reply and went to sleep already...just simply can't sleep well....woke up quite early but he is not back as he need to be under observation then my dad brought him back as he scared he catch the fleas in the hosiptal....so in the morning i get to see him.....so relief that he is alright now...back to his normal life but a bit sickly look due to his jab haven't goes off.....keep update later part of my day at night

juz don't know why recently got no mood to submit any blog....people was telling me since everyday i'm not working should be able to submit it constantly.....the last time i submit my last blog was on monday which suppose 3 days away from my last post....hmmmmm
.....all i can say that i dun enjoy my the life i'm having now unlike my friends.....they love to be jobless and slack everyday at home.....for me, i would rather go out everyday spending time outside then being at home....i feel so trap at home......worse part is there is no one at home during the day now as my mum went to vietnam for a week....when the night falls, sometimes i dun see a single soul except myself as my sis need to work OT and my dad not in sg due to his work required.....i been trying hard to keep myself busy doing housework already but yet to satisfy my emptiness in me...real bored......wish that the someone could accompany more time now as i worried if i get back to my working life i will be missing like crazy as my time will be fixed at working hours same as the person....so meeting up will be difficult....now my target for next job will be banking admin....i enjoy wearing semi-formal wear and work in place like raffles place....nobody will understand the pace in that area if u never work before....it is like so natural for you to work fast in u happen to be in that area working..it is the environment influence.....all the best to me and sending my regards out to people that read my blog which i see them that often......

I'm going to continue writing things happen on my daily life already as i got plenty of time doing so.....today is my day where chalet has ended.....early in the morning we had breakfast together with the few leftover people and before everything end ,the leftover people was so miserable....i got a friend to help me carry stuff all the way to the train station but he have to depart different place from me so when i alight at the station i suppose to alight . i have to carry the 2 cooler box all the way back to my home from station....whow.....i can feel my whole body is aching and my neck pain has been persisting me since the first nite due to lack of rest and not used to the sleeping materials....the pain has worsen after today carrying back so much things...
kind of regret not taking cab but i'm too broke for the cab fares so have to bear with it no choice.....

when i reach home, my home is like so extremely quiet as no one at home.i switch on my room tv as i miss the programs i have in my room and air-con....i start to lie down there but the pain doesn't goes off so can't get to sleep....not long that person called me up and send the regards to me which i'm so touched that actually concern for me......i can never expect it as when i need someone to concern this person always seems to appear at the right time.....however things still have to go on....


All i can say is to treasure whatever things you able to possess or have

I dun think i going to write down what has happen during my 3 days stay at my chalet right? if not will be real long things to write as friday alone happen so much things so sweet that only one person will know....i guess who i'm talking about will know if got read this part of my journal....friday things shall kept as a secret as i hope to remains in my heart as long as possible...

heyhey....time for me to talk abt things happening to me on thursday...it is a bit more happening for this day because quite a no. of things happen including sweet and sour.....
In the morning i was awake by the morning call made by on of my friends to do marketing in the wet market beside my place....it is so hardworking of us to actually step into the wet floor with dripping stinky and fishy water smellls. it made me wide awake to prevent into stepping onto any puddle of water...we had our price checked and after the tour in the wet market we sat at the hawker to have breakfast while we discuss further on the finance side.....then we proceed on to Sheng Shiong located at Yung Ho Road previously was shop n save.....before we reach our destination, we actually alight at the bus stop in front of our sec. sch which brings us back to the days... we went in the sch to see our former teachers which is still in the school...it was so quiet and the new look of it has made us feel so uncomfortable with it unlike the old days we have.....the quietness of the school is becoz they are having their exam period at the time being.....luckily the teacher we are looking for are in the school or else really very pai seh one.after for abt 2 hours toking to our former teacher, the sour things happen within the conversation between me and my teacher.....she actually pin very high hope on me but when she heard abt my withdrawal of sch....she actually plays her role as a teacher in lecturing me for making such a decision but no matter what things already happen nothing can sAVE IT BACK....she is kind of disappointed to me and have a immediate change of attitude to me....dunno is i'm the one sensitive to it or wat but then she after my lectures she made a small little comment which i can feel she is totally disappointed with me.....after the sad things happened, we continue on our journey to sheng shiong to do grocery shopping as our teacher also have to go for meeting......on the way to grocery shopping, someone actually called me and talk to me that miss me which really hits me....i been controlling myself not to mesage u or call u as scared u r too busy with your things and still have to worry for me.....until this person call me it really makes me touched that the person still remembers me....it is so sweet that i totally forgotten i'm a tired soul and fully charged with energy after that call....after the shopping, my home is like stuffed with foods that can last through the year....frozen foods filled up my freezer compartment fulled including a bit of home food which already existed....now half of my day have gone and time for me to pack some of my personal stuff into my dearest bag .brought along 2 camera with me .one is with negative while the other is polarid....3 sets of clothes and a set of my own toiletries which i often bring along for my trips....all i know it is time for my sleep if not got no energy to carry so many stuff alone with my godbrother.....

hmmm............quite a lot of days did not post anythings related to myself already.....it is time for me to write all at one time, should i? oh yesh and you all will be like reading a fairy tale story or even a compo of mine....

My last journal was ended on my last few days with CS...hmmmmm......all i can say is the last day which i did things that is so unforgettable.....I had lunch with my Department manager which so coincidence that we are on the same day having our last day and invited one of the cashiers(sharon) working with me the same shift to go out for lunch.we had quite a nice meal as i have not taken any warm food in my stomach for such a long time....so tie down by the way that almost everyday have to chew that stupid instant foods or ready to eat things selling within the store if not will be macdonald.....
that day the food will always remains in my taste buds as it is the tastiest food i ever tasted due to the last day to be remembered.....all i can say that will be my next step of life already......after the lunch we took pictures within the store....hmmm...that is not the end of the day......I can feel the freedom i'm having the moment i take off my uniform of CS and step out of that store.....whow.....not one can understand how i feel at that moment although i can't bear to leave but the freedom is awaiting for me outside the store already......but then when i reach home, I'm totally exhuasted dunno why maybe becoz i has get myself out from tiring world already.....but then i still have to crawl up to go and meet my friends for coming weekend gathering party at pasir ris chalet....we have planned so much stuffs to keep everyone busy eating through the nite which cost almost like $400 odds jus on food itself....a lot rite? but what to do as it is a last gathering so everyone muz be happy wat......we talk everything till quite late around 11+ then all of us got back to our own den to sleep and next morning have to do marketing......thankfully everything is settle already if not my head going to burst becoz of the tired soul i have in me... all it comes to the next day already

Today is my countdown to my last day with CS... although it is unbearable to leave that store but if i dun leave now, i will never grow up to become a man....always dependent what is given.....hopefully can get a new job by the start of june but first of all now is to enjoy......writing on this blog i realise it has been a week plus i haven't meet that person of mine yet......although my heart is craving for it as both of us also kind of busy too.....so this friday is the precious day to be with you...checking in together to chalet hoping will make more memories for both of us.....although the time together every day or week is quite minimum but hearing the call from you always bring me back to life again....energize my body with miracle power......i dun think too much but juz want to get myself into enjoyment if not i will not get it anymore....haiz.....ur support will always strengthen me a lot juz like a powerful jab...

2 days left to my last days with CS will bring more memories.....i'm a person love living with memories but of coz not hurting memories or else i will be always trap with misery......hey friends i gonna bring camera along with me so muz take pics okay to keep.....
most of all our full family of checkout pic will be best.....hahaha
hopefully possible

hey people out there working with me........I'm having my last day with CS on next wednesday.......my heart is kind of hurts to leave everyone thats has left me a memory in there......no one will understands it how it feels like when you totally love your job for 4 years and been so loyal to it......it is just like loving a person for 4 years and having joy and woes together and have to break up eventually due to circumstances and it can really hurts......all i know now is need my my korkor to give me the best encouragement i can get at the moment i stop work or else i be so lost to the world already.......i will hope my korkor at the moment give me the best of it for me so i can see further down the road.....


i can say although i tried so hard to keep myself busy with works but i still can't forget that person even when i'm busy.....i be thinking of that person when i'm busy doing stuff....a bit distracted at work but still able to get back to it.....i think that person has come into my life with more spices added as i'm used to be a lone ranger to everything. now ask me to go back to the lonely life i just can't accept already......all i ask for now is to have the fun all i can with that person before i enter NS ....hoping that the person can give me a chance to it although a bit impossible......dun worry okay no matter we are still ****....i said to you before already partially is becoz of chemistry......if without chemistry, nothing will actually goes further since that day....

psshh..............to all my CS friends, i juz hoping that we can still keep in contact after i leave and hopefully i caN get some last parting memories with you all......
maybe we shall take some pics together okay

pls allow me to see you....I'm dying to see u......why can't i see u?in the first place both of us are enjoying ourselve but why end up like this.......i really dunno what actually happens but ur sudden turn of 360 degrees has make me more panic........i'm so scared...pls dun leave me alone......no one actually understands what i really wants or feels now.......no matter what i'm proud to say i'm leaving CS at the 15 of may......kind of happy but still sad inside my heart as i will still miss the days with everyone in there.....


today i tok to that person and actually said quite a few heart-breaking things. i said already i dun mind anything just to be with you......if u want me to be happy just allow me to be with you until i get into ns okay?......oh please......although people might say i'm stupid but i know what i'm doing....i choose the right way as no one understand my position....


I think should stop here about myself and let me talk back to work.....I out of sudden got the urge to leave CS i really find no meaning to stay on anyway......with the new people in there, there will be no more life already....even though i can see hard to find a job now but no choice but to leave before i can find another job to take over.....

Kind of tired in posting my journal yesterday.....did quite a no. of things and actually craving to meet that person one but scared wait i meet that person i can never stop wanting for more. so yesterday i did all sort of things to occupy myself from thinking of that person.....Early in the morning i actually asked around who want to go for a haircut with me at town area......after a while i realise all my friends actually having exams now and i'm left alone.....so sad and lonely u know.....plus that person also not free to be with me.....haiz......so i decide to go for my personal stylist to do my hair......the hair stylist told me that my hairstyle have to be str8 cutting behind as i got a long neck....if i cut armani style i reveal out my long neck.....and also the hair stylist wanted to keep my fringe as she like it as a style to my hair....she help me to trim only but didn't cut off which i thought of......afterall i feel i'm slightly special than last time already the long draggy hair causing me to keep pushing it back....after my hair cut, i went for a bit of shopping as i wanted to spend my taka vouchers so i went into the taka departmental store and start searching around seeing what to spend on so i got myself some personal stuffs and a simple present for a friend of mine. it cost me $100+ overall......then after my shopping then i bought some pastry to eat .....hahaha....muz be saying this guy enjoying the life but i only enjoy it when i got the mood......before i got home, i brought half of my strudel to cold Storage at KAP to give my colleagues some treats......then after joking for a while then i go home......when i reach i decided to revamp my wardrobe as it is congested with clothes....if i dun revamp i won't get to buy anymore new one already.......revamping my room is kind of takes up to hours which i forgotten my dinnertime as my parents are not around until 9+....that person call me up and we chat for a while.....it makes me more craving for that person after the call i talk to as i haven't seen that person for 5 days already......juz hoping that try to compromise each other to meet up once a week will be enough for me........okay.......so after revamping my wardrobe, i went to meet up my sec. sch friends to discuss on the coming event i'm holding for gathering.......it took us 4 hours then we come up to a conclusion already......quite big event becoz there is like 20 odd people attending this event so i have to plan until everyone enjoy it.........so stress but never mind. everyone enjoy is the most important to me.....i think after this event sure damn broke becoz i'm absorbing quite a lot of things purchase.....hoping to share the burden with that person.....hehehe........ dunno whether can or not

at last i'm back at my journal......my laptop ganna virus and have to ask my friend to help me reformat my comp but now my comp is in win xp which is better than previous one so nvm.....luckily i got someone i know to reformat or else no money to spend liao......so many days didn't write my journal muz have a lot to say but too bad dun think i should write out a compo out already......let me briefly said what happens through my weekend.....on friday, i hurt my back due to sleeping in an incorrect position and causes the muscles to pull together and have to take mc as hardly can bend or turn that day.....so sad that no one concern as my parents all not at home and has to see doctor alone plus my that person didn't know i'm hurt and unable to meet me .....kind of sad........didn't get enjoy the being look after when u r really helpless feeling.......

then here comes saturday.......
I'm still able to drag myself to work at toa payoh with my injured back as i worried they might not have enough staff to work on the weekends which doesn't really look good for them lor....so when i reach there, i'm sent with a dm to transfer bbq chickens as they unable to cook out to the demand in there as there is an opening offers. so stupid that i actually agreed to help them when i forgot i got an injured back. luckilyi still to cope with the quatity been transferred.....it was like 60 bbq chickens and 2 cartons of broccoli.....so tedious work man........after the transferring of stocks, i then realise that i have to become the role of section leader in that outlet for 2 days as there is no one in charge for cashiers.....so far so good as quite a no. of customers praise my customer service for them and also helps to brighten up my days and made me forget the pain on my back........after my work which ends at 10.40 i immediately rush down to meet my friends. ....it is one of my colleague,lay tien, belated birthday celebration so they decided to go clubbing together as part of enjoyment..one of my friend gave me wrong info on the location to meet and i went there see nothing and when i call them up another time then realise the actual place is raffles place instead of city hall..who knows that most of them r under 18 and the bouncer r quite strict on them......so we went from boat quay to M.S.......so sad actually i thought we can go into centro as wat i been wanting to go with them although i been there twice which enjoy myself but due to the kids around we have to choose some place that is not that strict enough.....so in the end we ended up in a kids clubbing area named "Angels". I quite dun enjoy in there as the mixer drinks sux and lucikly i drank only E-thirty-three which somehow better......missing someone is kind of sad inside me.......so actually i drink a bit only i a bit shag already due to emotion side too heavy already that few days......

here comes the hateful sunday.........
When i woke is already 10am as when we got home is like 4.20am from clubbing. yet again my parents r not around as they went out for breakfast with my sis without me. so have to eat those miserable bread as to fill up my stomach...around 12 plus i left my home to head for work at toa payoh.....on this very day of work, i really hate to work as my whole body is aching as becoz my muscle r tense back already.....then i took the relaxation pills but now it only helps a bit only as i think i over exert it already........I really got no mood to work already due to the pain on my back is a disturbance......i tried to excuse myself from work but unable to as the manpower in there quite tight which no one can be on mc if not i will be dead....being the section leader for the last day really kills me....so tedious plus my back pain.....some more surprises giving me
breaking into tears immdiately.... during my dinner break time, someone send me a message and said we should cut down on meeting up but i think the no. of time meeting up with that person is so little already and yet still want to cut down some more.......somehow it really hits my heart deep down cutting myself as i kind of dropping into a deep pit already......all i knows my tears starts rolling down the moment i saw that msg and quickly reply asking why and that person said we should talk after work.....after my break time, i'm totally a human with a lost soul already.....all of them were asking me wat happens to me today and i said nothing juz back pain but there is more than back pain only.....at last the day has end and someone call me up to talk to me abt the thing.....somehow is like things is happening too fast and have to slow down a bit...that person juz worried that i be wasting time on that person and dun wish to waste my youth for nothing which i dun think is right . i said that youth is juz to play when i already left my playing age since i'm 16 already.. i tried learning to be independent on the character wise since 16 so no matter wat decision i made is all mine.......even my parents dun bother my decision........i think that person said all those things i juz to see how things work......no matter what hope everything is safe and stable..........my emotions are more stablise after hearing that call....... no matter what happens pls dun hurt me another time okay if u r viewing this journal..u promise me one.....